1. My house. I'm struggling folks. I'm struggling with finding the balance between trying to keep my house orderly (a losing battle) and relaxing & enjoying my children. I've come to the conclusion that with 4 young boys & one husband, the house is not going to be perfect...or even close to perfect. At best, it will be less chaotic at times.
I would love to have a clean house...really. But for now I have to settle for an OK house.
2. Envy. I see pictures of other people's houses on their blogs. And, I'll say it, I'm really jealous...and a bit embarrassed. We live in an old house...verging on dilapidated. It's less dilapidated than it was when my husband bought it 10 years ago. But, it has glaring imperfections. Too many to list...but here are a few.
- 50+ year old, cracked nasty linoleum on our kitchen/ dining room floors (project on hold, because to replace the flooring, we need to even out the floors. They are warped & definitely not level).
- unfinished ductwork (for an upstairs heating system my husband hoped to install) going through old, broken drywall
- a collapsed ceiling in the sunroom & rotting wood in the corners of the room
- 80 year old windows in the downstairs that desperately need to be replaced
- 2 different sets of kitchen cabinetry...one original to the house, one from the 70's.
But is it OK to wish for something better? To work toward something better? Or should my attention be focused on advancing God's kingdom and being the best wife & mother I can be? Should I just try to make my house now as homey as possible? Even so, when do I find the time to do things like paint kitchen cabinets?
3. Strong-willed children. What do you do when your child is making you crazy? I have one son who is high-spirited, precocious, very intelligent, and , at times, belligerent. I've tried just about every parenting technique I can think of. But sometimes he just pushes my buttons. And, I don't know how to remain calm & control my own anger.
4. Keeping perspective in blogging. I lost a follower of my blog. I get so excited when I see each time I have a new follower. And, I was so disappointed when one day I noticed I had one less. Then, I start to question - Did I say something to offend? Am I just boring?
I am hoping that she just deleted me by accident, but insecurity has a way of rearing it's ugly head. And, I have to remind myself the reason I started a blog. It wasn't to see how much readership I could gain (although I'm seeing how easy it is to get sucked into caring about that too). It was to do something I could call my own, a way to keep my brain sharp, and to have some creative outlet.
So why do I care? I guess I've found something else through blogging that I didn't expect. And, that is community. It's fun to meet other women through their blogs - to encourage & to be encouraged. Even though I haven't met them face to face I feel like they are new friends.
5. Summer projects. I have decided that I need to make a list of projects I want to complete & just do them. I'm not sure how or when I'll find the time...but here goes...
- paint my kitchen bench black. I have the paint & paintbrushes bought already. I just need to get started.
- strip the nasty fabric off my kitchen table benches, sand them down & paint the whole thing.
- Replace the old venetian blinds in our bedrooms with curtains.
Baby steps. Baby steps.