Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Did the Proverbs 31 Woman Get Tired?

I have a friend who told me she doesn't like the Proverbs 31 woman.  She said that it's an ideal for womanhood that is too lofty to attain.  

I tend to agree to a point.  After all she was busy from dawn to dusk.  She managed her household, she mananged a business.  She seemed to do it all.

And, it never says anything about her complaining, feeling unappreciated, or getting tired.

But, did she?

I guess I should explain what has caused me to wonder these things.  You see, we seem to go through cycles of busy-ness here at our home.  My husband has many projects, interests, & responsibilities in addition to his full-time job.  In addition, he's the type of man who needs to keep moving & keep busy.  (Whereas I'm the type the craves and relishes downtime.)

We are going through a cycle of busy again.  Or, I should say my husband is busy.  For the last couple weeks we'll see him briefly at dinner-time and then he's off again to work on whatever he needs to accomplish that evening.

That pretty much leaves me alone with the children.  All.  Day.  Long.  From early in the morning until they go to bed.  

And, I'm tired.  I'm worn out.  I'm at my wit's end most days.  I don't have a lot of perky, creative mommy tricks up my sleeve anymore.  And, if I did, I'd be too tired to implement them.

And, the children always seems to sense when Momma's run down and Daddy's not home.  It becomes their opportunity to test and test and test.

Which brings me back to the Proverbs 31 woman.  We know she had children.  Was she completely adept at handling every situation that even if her husband was not home she still ran that tight ship?  

As a wife, I want to be a helpmate to my husband.  When he comes home to a grouchy, frustrated wife and rowdy kids, I feel like I'm failing.  And, I feel like I should be able to do it.  (After all there are plenty of single moms and military wives who have no choice but to do it.)  And, how do I ask my husband to take on less?  I feel like again I'm failing as a helpmate if I ask him to do that.  

I know every marriage, every personality is different, but what do you do to keep your sanity when life seems so busy?  I think I've asked this before in a post, but here I am again. So, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

(I will say that I have learned I need to get out of my house for at least a little bit here and there.  I really do tend to be more of a homebody, but sometimes I still need to escape the house...even just to go outside and gain a fresh perspective.)

P.S. - After I posted this I found this image on someone else's blog.  I'm trying to keep this in mind today....


  1. I'd like to remind us of the very first verse from this passage..."A wife of noble character who can find?" It may be no one has found her yet:-).

    Kidding aside, I think that our attitude and outlook is so crucial as wives and mothers. If we're overworking ourselves or if our expectations are too high, our attitudes and outlooks will stink. When we're in a groove we can manage, things improve all around. Unfortunately, we can't always control things and seasons of craziness pop up. During those times we need to reevaluate and breathe deep, ask for God's help and keep taking one day at a time. At least that's what helps me:-).

  2. To everything there is a season, right? I think what you are feeling, Karen, is the same thing every mommy has felt over the ages. My favorite parenting quote is this: "The days are long but the years are short." I find that I'm in a bit of a different time of life with my boys but it can be equally frustrating. I'm working full time and coming home to afterschool activities and LOTS of homework. It has been a huge adjustment for all of us to go from stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom to work-full-time-public-school family. I find that connecting with other moms who build me up and don't tear me down is really important. When my boys were little I looked for park dates and preschool to help me through. Right now I'm trying really hard to preserve SOMETHING of myself. I try to take some time every day to do something small for me. I read a fun book, do a little sewing and try to have some positive time with my boys. It's not easy. And don't feel bad if you ask for a night off once in a while. Your needs are equally important to your hubby's. Sometimes those husbands just don't know what we want. They are happy to give it to us if we just let them know what we need. Good luck!

  3. I love the title of this post- you crack me up.
    I love the little prayer you found on someone else's blog- so true.
    I love the proverbs 31 woman and of course, aspire to be like her, but I fall short a lot and for some reason, lately.
    In fact, my husband, who is not a bible reader, told me the other day that he liked it better when I was submissive.
    I have been so crazy and short on patience lately.
    I am happy he acknowledged he noticed I was different because when I was really putting my best foot forward everyday, I felt like it was for nothing. I didn't think he noticed.
    I am the kind of person who likes competition and I feel like the proverbs 31 woman pushes me forward and gives me something to strive for.
    But, man o man, I have been falling short!

  4. Ugh, I am feeling the same way. My hubs is really busy and i am feeling trapped a lot. I took the kids on a long walk last night but I really wanted to just veg in front of the tv. I don't know how much better it made me feel, but even if it was a little bit, I guess that is better than nothing. I was so worn out by the time my hubby got home I could not form coherent sentences, no kidding. I just tell myself it will get better. Sometime.


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