Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Kids & Chores

There are some things that I know that I want for my boys.

First and foremost I want them to know, love, honor, and serve God.

I also want them to become men of integrity. Men who are kind & considerate.  I would like them to be gentlemen.

In addition to all that, it is my desire that they would be hard workers just as the men before them.  My father and grandfather, my husband, my father-in-law, my husband's grandfather....all these men who have had a strong work ethic.

I do not want my boys to get sucked into the mentality of a generation that seems to embrace laziness, entitlement, and takes little self-responsibility.

So, when trying to get my boys to do a few simple chores results in whining, moaning, complaining, stalling, arguing, etc. etc., it's annoying & exhausting.  And, I envision them as teenagers behaving the same way and that's just downright scary!

I would love for them to do their chores willingly and with enthusiasm.

But, I'm also realistic.  I can't say I do my own work around the house with a ton of enthusiasm.

Having them do their chores obediently and without whining (and all the above mentioned theatrics) would be great!

I had this book for awhile and if I remember it had some really great tips.  And, it was based on biblical principles.  It's called, Do I Have To?  What To Do About Children Who Do Too Little Around The House by Patricia Sprinkle.

But, I'm not sure where it is anymore.  Did I get rid of it?  Why would I have done that?

I did find the author's website and it looks like she even has out a new edition of the book.

I would like to reread the book.  But, in the meantime, I'd love to hear what works for all of you.  Will my children reach a point where they work without whining...if I'm consistent?  Am I expecting too much of them?  Actually, I'll answer that one for myself.  NO.  I'm not expecting too much.

Anyway, I'd love your thoughts & insight!


  1. My son is 18 now getting ready to leave for college. He use to complain about chores also. You would have thought it was the end of the world. Sometimes still does. But he has turned out to be the most wonderful, hard working, compassionate, kind young man. Just keep having them do their chores even when it is easier to do it yourself or when you are sick of the complaining. You can read about my son on my blog. I wrote about it July 1st. I am so proud of him.

  2. I'm pretty strict in this probably don't want my suggestions! Every once in awhile my son will complain about having to do certain things...but overrall I think he has started to take pride in the things he does to help out around the house. I do a lot for him...and in return I excpect him to do just a handful of things for me.

  3. Good post...not going to touch it! But I can say, my adult boys all keep their apartments clean...although you would have never guessed they knew how when they were in their teens. My married son knows who to cook and clean better than his wife...she ask him questions. All three have come back and said thanks for teaching them. Now to continue that with the two still here...I am older and tired. LOL
    Keep it up and in due season you will reap if you don't give up on trying.

  4. You inspired me to check what I am doing...thanks...I need to get back in the swing of this...Here is my book from years ago
    401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home
    Bonnie Mc Cullough
    My four year old does better when working at my side...not by himself

  5. I discovered early on which chores were pleasurable for my girls and those were their chores whenever they wanted them. I still miss my youngest whenever there are big things to lift and carry. She could rival any boy her age for the ability to handle the tough stuff. I miss my oldest because she had organizational skills that far exceeded mine. She kept junk drawers and office desk in order. But, for the majority of the regular chores in the house, we would rotate them - between all three of us - or we would do them together. They were helping me with laundry as young as four years old and helping with dishes as young as five. My best trick though was in denying them the right to run the vacuum until they were old enough. They begged to run that vacuum for years until their 9th birthday. I figured they needed a "right of passage" every now and again.

    Later in life, I would sell some of my chores to them or bid them out for them to do. They learned that doing work for others could come with a monetary reward.

    The biggest key to it all - employ a sense of cooperation and not a power struggle (until all else fails).

  6. Crystal's advice sounds spot on. I started my boys on chores and after a few months gave up after getting tired of their complaining. I may need to read that book!


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