Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A New Look

I've been playing around a bit with my blog. I was curious about how people went about creating really cool looking headers for their blogs using pictures & designs. Well, I found a blog that explained how to do this using Picasa. The directions are straightforward and easy to follow even for a non-techy like me. Check out the blog Clover Lane to see how it's done. I'll probably still play around with it a bit, but I like how it looks for now.

Today has been one of those days when I'm feeling what I suppose is some lingering postpartum depression. I can't really put a finger on the heaviness although there are some good doses of guilt and frustration mixed in. It was just a few days ago in my post titled "Parenthood" that I discussed the importance of enjoying my children and spending time with them instead of getting wrapped up in my To Do List. It sounds good on paper anyway. I've just been feeling so stressed by the everyday demands of caring for four boys and trying to keep house that I really have been missing out on the joy of parenthood. I'm just not sure how to change my mindset.
Comparison is one of my downfalls. I look at other mothers around me (or moms on blogs) and I always feel like I fall short. Other moms seem to have clean, orderly, well-decorated homes. Other moms seem to be thinner, hipper, and better dressed than me. Other moms seem to have more patience for their children, time for their husband, and passion for God. How do they do it? Enter in frustration & guilt.

I'm not sure I have had any huge revelation on how to change all this around. This has been an on-going struggle for me. Sometimes I feel like I have a grip on it & sometimes it definitely has a grip on me. So, I continue to pray and to seek God.

On an entirely different note, I am considering posting the birth story of Baby Joseph. After each of my boys was born I wrote down the details of their birth. I started Joseph's story, but here it is almost 2 months later and I haven't finished it. I thought that if I give myself a deadline for posting it on here that it will motivate me to finish it. So, stay tuned. My goal is to have the story finished and posted in the next week.

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