Bedtime Routines

I had someone ask me a question a couple months ago about how we handle our bedtime routine with 2 boys sharing a bedroom in each of our boy rooms.  I meant to answer this question ages ago.  And, (as it fairly typical for me anymore) it slipped my mind until recently.


{Side note:  I had to pick up a prescription today for Joseph who has an ear infection.  While we were there, a dear older man was dropping off his handful of prescriptions.  Almost as an afterthought as he was walking to the waiting he area he said, 'Oh that one is for the dementia.'  I'm not entirely sure if he was serious or if he was just a kidder.  But, it made me think 'Will I need that kind of medication someday?  I sure am forgetful'.}


So, Merridith, if you're still out there, this post is for you.  I'm sorry it took so long.


First of all, now that our youngest is past the stage where he's nursing or waking up at night, we have him and our next youngest sharing a room.  Our oldest two share another room.    Up until then, the baby would always have a room to himself.  So, when our youngest was born, this meant we actually had the other 3 boys sharing a room for awhile.


We aim for bedtime to be between 8 and 8:30.  The boys should all be in their pajamas with teeth brushed by 8 and lights are out no later than 8:30 (usually).  I try to start the bedtime routine around 7:30 - 7:45 depending on if it's a bath night or not.


We don't do baths every night (unless they are REALLY dirty).  It's more like every other night (and sometimes every 3 nights...shhhh).  The most recent routine that has been working well for us is the oldest 2 taking turns in the shower downstairs while I wash the little 2 in the tub upstairs.  I've also sometimes waited until the next morning to wash the little 2 after their brothers have left for school.


My children don't typically like to play upstairs.  But, when bedtime rolls around they often find something to play with.  So, there's a lot of dilly dallying & stalling.  The big 2 are supposed to be responsible to get their own pajamas on & teeth brushed while I help the little 2 (although Charlie, who is almost 4, is able to dress himself....if he chooses to.   He still likes mommy to help.)


There's a lot of need for mommy direction at bedtime it seems - 
'Get your pajamas.'
'Put them ON your body.'
'Dirty clothes in the hamper please.'
'Whose pants are lying on the floor?'
'Do NOT flick your brother with your towel!'
'Why is the hand towel soaking wet?'
'Did you brush your teeth yet?'
'Let me smell your breath.'
'Go brush your teeth!'
'Your brother does not want you to sit on him.'
'No, he really doesn't.  I hear him telling you to stop.'
'Why aren't your pajamas on yet?'
'Give me the toothpaste.  We are not using it to draw on the counter.'


 Get the idea?  Yet, when Daddy puts the boys to bed, it's more like....
'Put on your pajamas and brush your teeth.'
'Good night boys.'


At least that's how it seems to me.  
I'm reminded of a quote from the movie Date Night (a pretty funny movie - it's too bad they couldn't leave out the crude stuff & foul language).  The Tina Fey character is talking about some of her frustrations as a mom & she says something like....And bedtime!  We do it every night.  Why does is always come as such a surprise to everyone?!


Once everyone has been sufficiently cleaned & dressed for bed we'll read a story or 2 of their choosing (depending on how late it is) in one of the bedrooms.  We try to take turns.  But, I forget whose turn it is half the time.  Sometimes to make it easier I just say it's Mommy's choice.  We'll wrap up stories with a reading from a children's devotional.  (And, in case you are picturing a serene picture of angelic, freshly washed little boys gazing in wonder as I read, you should know there is usually one or more who is running hither and yon.  And, at least 2 are fighting about how they can't see because someone's knee is in the way.)


Then I send the big 2 to their room while I tuck in the little 2.  Everyone makes sure they take one more drink from their water cups.  They like me to lay with them for a few minutes.  So, I'll lay on the floor for bit.  I pray with them.  And, we'll talk for a little bit.  Then, I go to the next room and repeat the tuck in procedure.


When, I head to the stairs, there is more often than not a flurry of other questions, comments, etc. coming from each room.  One of those questions is almost always, 'How long until you come up to bed?'  I answer as quickly as I can, say 'Good Night boys!'  and run down the stairs before they can think of any more questions.


And, there you have our bedtime routine.


What does your bedtime routine look like?

I Agreed To This!

I think we have all had those times when we've been asked to do something and in that moment it seems like a good idea...exciting even!  Then, after we've said yes & considered what it's really going to take, we wonder what we've got ourselves into.


What?  That's never happened to you?  Well, it has to me on numerous occassions.  And, this most recent one is a doozy (for me anyway).


On Sunday we had dinner at my parent's house to celebrate some family Fall birthdays.  My sister, Lorinda, who has also recently lost weight asked me (ME!) if I would run a 5K with her on Thanksgiving morning!


Actually, it's Lorinda's friend Missy (who has also recently lost weight) who got Lorinda involved.  And, Lorinda figured the more people she could get to do it, the more likely she was to follow through with it.


You know, I read these inspiring stories all the time about people who decide to make healthy changes in their life and they sign up to do stuff (like run a 5K!) that they never thought they could do before.  And, they do it and it just motivates them to push  through to the next challenge and the next....until they become 'a former couch potato turned athletic individual'.


This is what I had in mind when I said, 'Sure!'.


It wasn't until I came home that night that I started to think about what would actually be involved in preparing for a 5K.  For a person such as myself who pretty much has a nonexistant exercise routine, there would be some, gasp, training involved.


I talked to my husband yesterday about when might be the best time for me to get out of the house without children to do this training.  We agreed that when he comes home over lunchtime I could get out and do my running/walking.


Today was the first day.


I learned that I'm way out of shape.  Actually, I already knew this.  It was just confirmed.  


But, I met my goal.  I ran to my first landmark goal down the road and walked back.


I thought I'd commemorate the first day by recording how I look now.  And, hopefully I'll look back on Thanksgiving Day and see some changes.  (Please note I am not particularly photgenic to begin with.  And, these were taken after my first 'workout' when I'm looking & feeling a little bedraggled.)

 Here I am on the 1st day of November...less than a month to train!

 But, I'm excited.  No, really.....

I am excited!

 Wait.  How's this for convincing?

Wish me luck folks.  I think I'm going to need it.

Back to Normal

If you missed my weekend posts, the big news in these parts is that we got a major snowstorm...in October!


But, today most of the snow is melted.  There is some frost on the ground & it's chilly.  But, it looks more like Fall again.


We are basically back to normal....

And It Just Keeps Coming

And, the October weather strangeness continues....


The heaviest snow hasn't even reached us yet.   According to weather.com 6:00 p.m. will mark the beginning of the heavy snow.

Well, this weather has put the kiddos in the mood for gingerbread cookies.  So, I'm off to make some now....(Maybe I can find a recipe that incorporates pumpkins.  THAT would make it seem a bit like fall.)

Does Something Seem A Little Strange?

 It's a very strange day in October around here.

Here's the first hint why....

Here's the second hint....

Why yes.  That would be snow.  Till it's all said and done we could could anywhere from 3-10 inches!!!  No one really knows.  Only time will tell.  (I would have pictures of my other boys too, but as soon as they were in their snow gear they were out the door & off to who knows where.)

I feel like I should be playing Christmas music. 

Perhaps this picture best captures the oddity of the weather around here.  My fall mums, my confused iris (that bloomed several days ago thinking it was spring), and snow on the ground.

A Few Thoughts

Hello Everyone!  It's nice to be able to access my blog and your blogs again.  Yesterday my computer was having issues and would freeze up everytime I tried to load a page.  It's funny how one little thing like not being able to use my computer affected my day!  (Maybe that says something about how dependent I've become on the internet....but that's another subject for another day.)


A few thoughts today....


1.  I talked about how to handle Halloween in this post a few days ago and in a post last year.  Here are a few more ideas on the subject....


 - I need to be obedient to how the Holy Spirit is leading me.  If I feel uneasy or not at peace on the subject then I'd better pay attention to what God is trying to say to me.  Not every Christian may agree or have the same conviction, but I need to follow His leading.

 - A friend posted this link on Facebook. 

    It's called Sent Into the Harvest - Halloween on Mission

   If you have 10 or 15 minutes you could take to read the article I highly recommend it!  The gist of what it says is that Christians typically deal with Halloween in one of 2 ways, naivete (it's not really evil) or retreat (we won't participate in any way).  The author, David Mathis, suggests a third option - take the offensive against the evil one and use this holiday as an opportunity to advance God's kingdom.  


I liked a lot that he had to say.  My only regret is that he didn't offer many practical ways to make this happen.  However, today a friend was talking to me about whether or not we were going trick or treating (and we already told our boys we aren't).  She mentioned that some nursing homes open their doors on that night to children and that the residents enjoy handing out treats to the children.  After reading this article, I thought - what if WE brought a treat to them?  


I think my husband still sees it as participating in something evil.  But, to be honest this approach discussed in the article seems to make the most sense to me.


2.  I am almost finished re-doing my parent's old dining room table.  But, as with almost any project, I've run into some snags.  I thought I'd be done with it yesterday, but my final coat of polyeurothane got messed up in a couple areas.  The children say they didn't touch it while it was wet, but it really seems that might be what happened.  So, John suggested letting it dry several days before sanding out the rough patches & putting on another coat.  Maybe next week I'll have pictures for you?


3.  Finally a funny story from earlier in this week.  I shared it on facebook and I think I'll share it here too.  Hope you get a chuckle....


The other night one of the boys (who shall remain nameless here) was having some major gas issues. 

I asked him, "WHAT did you eat?".

"I don't know," he responded. 


Then after thinking about it for a few seconds he continued, "Well, I did have four Fiber One bars today."

!!!!!!!

It Starts With Me?

My spirit has fought tooth and nail against the concept that the mom sets the tone in the home.    No.  No.  No, I say.  I don't want that kind of power.  I don't want to be the one to blame for the bad attitudes, the whining, the fighting, the chaos.  I don't like thinking that my own flaws are reflected right back at me by my children.


Today was a rough morning with my oldest two.  Of all my boys they are the ones that clash the most.  Sometimes they are downright cruel to each other.  And I wonder if they even like each other, much less love each other.


This morning as they were supposed to get dressed for school one of them was tossing something or swinging something too close to the other one's head.  They were each yelling at the other to stop.  I was in my room listening to the fight, determined not to jump in right away.  Maybe they would work this out on their own.


But, as the yelling escalated and the younger of the two ended up in tears I made my move.  No TV for both of them the entire week.  I spoke calmly, yet firmly (I'm working on this one!) about how important it is to be kind to each other.  But the consequence I doled out and my words seemed to have little effect.  In each one's mind it was still the other's fault.  There was no remorse, no apologies.


After the boys left on the bus, my mind went back to this idea that I set the tone.  Frankly, a lot of the anger and yelling that I've been seeing in my boys does come back to me.  I have often made bad choices about how I deal with my frustration and anger when my boys misbehave.  Once again, the thought 'I don't want this kind of power' entered my head.


But, then a novel idea popped in.  What if I use this power a mom has in a positive way?  (How did this not occur to me before?)  What if I purposefully set a new tone...not just in the generic 'I want to help make my home more peaceful' way.  But, what if I outline specific things I will do during this next week?


Here's are the things I decided to try this week. 


1.  Each day I want to tell each of my boys 3 things they are doing well or that pleases me.  


2.  Each night before bed I will tell each of my boys another positive thing about them like, "I really like how helpful you were with your little brother today."  or  "I noticed that you did your chores today without having to be reminded and in a cheerful way."


3.  Each night each boy will tell each of his brothers one thing he really likes about that brother or that was something good from the day like  'Thank you for sharing your toy with me today.'  We tried this one a few nights ago and there was a lot of silence and 'um''s and 'I don't know''s.  So this one may take some practice.


4.  I will not talk negatively about my children in front of them this week.  This is something I don't intend to do but I find myself doing it anyway.  Oftentimes it comes in the form of me telling my husband about things that happened during the day, ways the boys were fighting, or disobeying, etc.  Instead, I'm going to try really hard to build them up when talking with my husband instead of relaying all their faults.


5.  I'm going to watch my tone.  Another tough one for me.  I'm going to work this week on keeping my tone firm yet loving.  And, we're going to work on banishing yelling from our home....and that starts with me.


Please pray for me and my family as I try really hard to set a new tone in our home.