I am taking a breather from my day of laundry to sit down and write this. It is after dinner & about an hour before the boy's bedtime. To this point I have done no fewer than 9 loads of laundry...sorted, washed, dried, folded, and put away. I still have 2 baskets that are folded but are waiting to be put away. One load is still in the washer & 1 is still in the dryer. There are still 2 loads waiting to be washed.
Whew! I am exhausted! But, I am determined to get it done today! I had to force myself to focus just on the laundry today. It was so tempting to be distracted by the many, many other household tasks which are just crying out to be done. But, I knew if I started down that path, I would end up accomplishing very little.
Then of course there is the negative self-talk. How did I let it get this bad? I must be the only stay at home mom that is so undisciplined. Why is my house always such a wreck? And on and on and on. My biggest temptation is to constantly compare myself to other women and what they get done (or what I think they get done). It's a fact, I would not win any awards as the greatest housekeeper. And, I end up berating myself.
Do you know what that is? It's insecurity. This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend a simulcast at my church of Beth Moore speaking on that very topic. Her talk was based on her book So Long Insecurity.
I was looking back over my notes (I didn't have a whole lot of them because I brought baby Joseph with me, so my hands were full a lot of the time). Here are a couple of the things I jotted down.
She said we can wait until we feel secure or we can claim the security we have in Christ now. She also said that insecurity is actually unbelief. We are more or less telling ourselves & God that we must not be 'good enough' because of....(fill in the blank). It cheapens the depth of God's love for us and the worth we have in Him.
Then she shared this little acronym for what a SECURE woman looks like:
Saved from herself
Entitled to truth
Clothed with intention
Upended by grace
Rebounded by love
Exceptional in life
I still have a goal to eventually improve my time management skills and discipline myself. But, more importantly, I want to be a SECURE woman. And, I want to leave that foe, insecurity, behind.