Thursday, March 8, 2012

To Continue to Have the "Followers" Gadget Or To Let It Go

Most of us bloggers have it....the 'Followers' gadget on the side of our blog where people can click the 'Follow' button & then easily access our blog again.  Or is that why?  


I will admit that I love affirmation.  Don't we all?  But, some of us seem to need it more than others.  I guess I fall into the 'need it more' category.  And, that 'Followers' feature definitely feeds into that need for affirmation.


I have watched my 'Followers' slowly grow over the two years I've been blogging.  I can still remember the surprise and elation I had the first time I saw I had a follower that I didn't know personally.  How did a stranger find me?  How exciting!  And, they like me.  They really like me.


My heart has jumped with joy each time I've seen a new follower has 'joined' my little corner of the blogging world.  Eagerly I'd go to their site (if they had one) and usually I'd follow back (if you're reading this, and somehow I missed doing that for you, I'm sorry.)


And, every time I saw that I lost a follower...and oh I noticed!...my heart sank.  What did I do wrong?  Why don't they like my blog anymore?  Am I boring?  Too serious?  Too fluffy?  Not an appealing enough blog design?  Not enough pictures?  Too many pictures?  Too much personal stuff?  What?  


To make matters worse for this affirmation-junkie I noticed other blogs, that I knew had started around the same time as mine, just explode in the area of followers and commenters.  I tried not to let that bother me.  I cherished each and every follower and commenter on my blog.  AND, I feel like I've formed relationships with some of you.  Like I KNOW I'd like you in person as much as I like you in blogland.


Here's the thing.  Just last week I had a new follower join who brought my numbers up to 60.   She was actually one of 3 who had just recently joined in the last couple months.  Before that there had been no activity in that way for a very, very long time.  I was so thrilled!


Then early this week, I noticed I was back down to 59.  Somebody left?  Oh no!  Why?  It brought me down, but I tried to remember that it really isn't personal.  Probably they were just 'cleaning house' of blogs they don't really frequent.  


Then today, I noticed the number had dropped, again, to 58.  And, I kid you not when I tell you that my heart plummeted.  I literally felt a physical pain & as though I was going to cry.  I walked away from the computer depressed & unable to focus on what I needed to do in my house.


Writing all this down makes me feel like I'm being quite melodramatic here.  But, I guess that's the point of this post.  If it bothers me this much then perhaps I should do away with that feature.  On the one hand, I enjoy discovering new blogs when I discover new followers. And, it lets me know there are people 'out there' reading what I have to say.  But, on the other hand, if envy (of other blogs) & an unhealthy attachment to 'numbers' is going to effect me, then perhaps I should let that feature go.


I enjoy writing.  I enjoy blogging.  It's been a wonderful outlet for me.   And, I enjoy forming friendships with other women who otherwise I'd never meet.  And THAT is more important to me than numbers.


So, I leave it in your hands dear readers...what are your thoughts on 'Followers'?

11 comments:

  1. oh Karen don't let them get to you it happens to us all. Sometimes we lose people. And sometimes I try to lose people but they still show up in my feeds. Followers is going away very shortly so maybe that will help? But I have been surprised lately by the amount of people I know in real life that say "yes we all ready know that we do read your blog" Wow that always means more to me than follower. These people never comment or follow me but they still read and I bet there are a lot of those lurking around your blog too.

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    1. Aw thanks. Actually, I've had the same experience you described when someone I know starts talking to me about something I know I didn't tell them about....completely forgetting that it's out there for the world to see on my blog. :)

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  2. I "unfollowed" a ton of blogs, but subscribed to them via Google Reader because I didn't want to lose anyone if and when Google decides to do away with GFC for Blogger blogs, too. I enjoy your blog!!

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    1. Hi Tammy! I didn't think of that possibility. You have no idea how much better that makes me feel. :) And, I guess I'm behind the times here because I haven't heard about these possible upcoming changes. I guess I need to check it out so I know what's going on when & if the time comes.

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  3. I understand your pain. I hate it when I lose/gain followers. I try not to care because it's not about the numbers but unfortunately some days are harder than others to keep this perspective.

    I follow you through my Google Reader so you might not statistically see me but I'm there! I'm sure you have lots of followers that way. :)

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    1. It is hard to keep it in perspective. But everyone's comments here really have helped me to get some perspective back! :)

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  4. I like the follow thing because then it automatically loads into my Google reader. Easy for me to add feeds. So I added it to my blog and have no idea how many followers I have, I just figured it makes it easier for some. But that's me.
    But if it become a stressful thing then I say let it go. You know yourself best and should surround yourself with things that lift you up (IMO).

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    1. I'm going to have to check out this Google reader thing. I don't even know what it is. :)

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  5. I think I was #60 :)
    I understand where you are coming from, try not to get fixated on the number though, because the ones who stick around and actually do read or comment are the ones who matter. I can guarantee that over half of my followers never even read my blog, some people join your site so you will join theirs in return. It really means nothing. So keep on enjoying blogging and don't be discouraged :)

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    1. Kerry, you're right! You were #60! I can't even begin to tell you how thrilling it is to meet new people through blogging. And, you're in Australia, right? How cool is it that we can connect with people we've never met from around the world?

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  6. OK, I never put the follower button on mine because I was too afraid no one would want to follow it. How's that for fear of rejection!? I do think some people just choose to follow you and then their interests changed. When I first started reading blogs (but not writing) I read every scrapbooking blog I could find, now I NEVER do! I mean, never. I still love to scrap but I don't care what those people are doing, no offense to them. I much prefer my mom blog "friends" and of course Us Weekly news but that's ok, right?!

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