Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My Heart is Heavy

Well, we're back from the beach...and we truly had a wonderful time.  I had planned to have an upbeat, fun post with lots of pictures for my first post after returning from vacation.  And, I will indeed be working on such a post.

But, tonight, my heart is heavy.  I spoke with a dear friend on the phone.  And, she and her husband are headed to divorce.  I knew they were struggling but I didn't know exactly how much.

My husband and I have known them since they were expecting their first child who is just about the same age as our second child.  We have watched each other's families grow.  And, now I am watching their family come apart.

I'm so sad, perplexed, confused.  Another marriage crumbling.  And, it seems that I know of so many marriages that have ended or that are struggling.

I'm wrestling with so many questions.  How do I pray?  If I pray in a certain way will it make more difference?  (I know. I know.  God hears.  He knows.  I don't need elaborate words...and I don't have them now anyway.)  What do I say to this couple?  Do I do more than listen?  Do I encourage them to continue to fight for their marriage? Will it matter if I do?  It seems that when it gets to the point where people decide on divorce they feel like there's no turning back.

The words & music to 'Slow Fade' by Casting Crowns keeps going through my mind.

I am praying tonight for healing, for reconciliation, for wisdom.


  1. Thinking of you and sending up prayers for your friend.

  2. Karen, I hear your heart. My divorce is the worst choice I have ever made. People convince themselves that the children will be better off...really?? I believe they need to grow up and think about those little lives; they are completely dependent on mom and dad, and trust their parents for a secure home. Fortunately my children have learned well from my mistakes and are gracious to me and him.

  3. first- Barb- love your honesty- so many women could learn from you- may God bless you and use your testimony for His will.
    Karen- I hear you and know the attack we are under. So many things I have heard lately about people I would never expect to hear the word divorce from.
    So many within my own church.
    I pray.
    I hug my husband a little tighter and pray for continued strength within my own marriage and I pray for others, but if anyone asks me, I say, "God does not want divorce!"
    A great book is Debi Pearl's Created to be His Help Meet.
    I am praying for you Karen.
    Remember God can do anything, even for your friend.

  4. Karen. I will be praying for you and your friend. I've seen divorce, and it is a hard road. I've seen the ramifications on the children. I'm so sorry.

    That song runs through my head often. It's so easy to fade -- I know I struggle with it, and some mornings wake up and think, "when did I get here?"

    Glad the "letting go of this" post blessed you. I'm constantly working to find all those "this" moments in my life.

    Have a blessed day. You are in my prayers.


  5. You are such a sweet and caring person, Karen. I'm afraid I can't give you any advice because my parents are going through the same thing right now and I too have no clue what to do for them except pray. Thank you so much for this post though as I am enjoying all the advice being given. God Bless!

  6. I feel your pain on this one....a very dear friend of mine who was married for 10 years is going through the same thing, as is someone from my own family! I never would have seen it coming from either of these couples....and they're both christian families! I will continue to pray for strength and wisdom for you as you seek to reach out to your friends.


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