Letting Go of an Idol

I was praying this morning, seeking God's direction for our family.  My husband is trying to determine where God is leading Him in regard to His career and our family in general.  So, I was praying for him and for our family. 

As I was praying I told God that I trust Him, that we want to follow His lead.  And, I heard Him speak something into my spirit that was seemingly totally unrelated to what I was praying about.

He asked me if I would obey Him in something that I have sensed He's been asking of me, but to this point I've ignored or excused away.

And, that thing that I felt, that I have been feeling for awhile is that God is asking me to abstain from alcohol. 

Other times that I've felt that whispered in my spirit I accounted it as being my own mind, my own bend toward legalism or guilt.  And, I dismissed the thought.

But, I've heard it now enough times that I can't keep excusing it away. 

Oh, how I enjoy a glass or two (or three if I'm honest) of red wine - especially while I'm cooking a meal, or with some crusty bread dipped in olive oil.  I enjoy it when I am celebrating.  I enjoy it when I'm bored.  I enjoy it when I'm stressed. 

I don't know if God is asking me to give it up permanently or for a season.  But, what He showed me is that I have become dependent on it.  I turn to it instead of to Him .  I look to it for comfort and for pleasure.   And, as such, I have set it up as an idol in my life.

It's easy for me to agree with Him here and now sitting on my couch at 9:30 in the morning.  I know it won't be easy though later - at the times when I would normally enjoy it. 

That's part of why I'm recording this here.  At first I just wrote it down in my personal journal.  But, I need to have some sort of accountability.  This is part of that accountability.

In fact, even the longer I sit here thinking about it, I can feel myself rising up against the idea.  I've already begun to mourn all the things I love about a glass of wine.  I feel that same other thought rising up...'Is God really asking you to do that?'.  Oh, it would be so much easier to write it off and dismiss it again.  To assure myself that God doesn't mind if I enjoy things that give me pleasure. 

But, those would be excuses.  And, I know it.  I know it has moved beyond a small thing that gives me occasional pleasure and has taken a much bigger role in my life.  I don't think God is saying that drinking alcohol is wrong.  But, I do think he's telling me that I've allowed it to take much more importance in my life than I should.  So, He's asking me to set it aside.  To rediscover how He longs to fill those areas of my life. 

And, so, I will trust Him to help me do what He is asking.