Instead I've hit a wall. Giving up caffeine & adult beverages was tough but manageable. Giving up sugar has completely left me reeling. And, I don't remember it being this hard when I did the Daniel Fast last year. But, then again I completely altered the rest of my diet pretty drastically all at once. And for some reason my body seemed to adapt more quickly to that?
For the last two weeks I've been head-achey, body achey, tired, extremely irritable, and just overall blaaahhh. To top it off, in the three weeks that I've started my new habits, I've only lost 2 1/2 pounds. And I find myself asking 'Why am I doing this?' I know I said I want to be healthier, to have more energy, to feel lighter, and to hopefully fit into my jeans again. But, in the meantime, I feel so miserable.
And part of me knows that in our weakest moments (and I feel pretty weak right now) God wants us to turn to Him, to rely on Him. And if I could just remember to run to Him when I'm at my lowest He can actually use that to improve my relationship with Him and my spiritual health.
But, sometimes the voice of discouragement is so loud and it seems to drown out the still, small voice of God. And discouragement snowballs. My discouragement in this area quickly rolls over into other areas of my life. I've been a pretty rotten wife & mother. I don't see a way out of my anger & irritability. I really don't. I sometimes feel invisible in the house full of male energy. I feel like I'm not understood. And, when I'm upset about something it's chalked up to 'hormones'.
Sometimes I feel trapped in my house & helpless to change anything in it. We've done zero work on our house in years. And, there are unfinished projects that need to be done all over the place. John is always busy. I don't know how to do them. And, we don't have the money to hire someone. I'm not just talking the kind of projects that other people seem to do all the time. This is not...oh I'm tired of the paint color. I think we'll spruce up our already beautiful bathroom. No, these are major issues (an un-insulated sunporch just off our kitchen which is really used as part of our kitchen because it houses our refrigerator and some of our cabinetry. But, it's literally falling apart. There's at least a 4 inch hole in the one corner of the wall where the wood is rotting away. A stairway that has 1940s linoleum on the WALLS and crumbling plaster overhead. A downstairs bathroom with an ancient shower stall that is really kind of nasty and a rotting floor. Just to mention a few. Trust me. There's more. )
So this feeling of discouragement & helplessness turns into despair. And, dang it! I just want a cup of coffee or a nice cookie! I've been trying to replace my spirit of despair with a garment of praise ( Isaiah 61:3). But it seems to take a strength of will that I just don't have.
Man! I really didn't intend to be Debbie Downer. Maybe it's just the winter blahs. Maybe I AM hormonal. I just don't know what to do with myself when I'm in this kind of funk.
So moving along....to recap:
Week One: Eliminate caffeine & adult beverages
Week Two: Eliminate sugar
Week Three: Eliminate night-time snacking (Oops. Goofed there this weekend for sure!)
Which brings us to....
Week Four: Eat a healthy, Daniel Fast type lunch. Goal: Train my body to crave good things
This week I'm going to have to work hard to re-instate my week three goal while incorporating a new goal as well. I'm envisioning eating a lot of salads, beans, whole grains, etc. for lunch this week. The Daniel Fast calls for no meat, dairy, sweeteners, beverages other than water, white flours/ grains, or preservatives. I figure I can make this happen for one meal out of the day.
Plugging on......Karen
For the last two weeks I've been head-achey, body achey, tired, extremely irritable, and just overall blaaahhh. To top it off, in the three weeks that I've started my new habits, I've only lost 2 1/2 pounds. And I find myself asking 'Why am I doing this?' I know I said I want to be healthier, to have more energy, to feel lighter, and to hopefully fit into my jeans again. But, in the meantime, I feel so miserable.
And part of me knows that in our weakest moments (and I feel pretty weak right now) God wants us to turn to Him, to rely on Him. And if I could just remember to run to Him when I'm at my lowest He can actually use that to improve my relationship with Him and my spiritual health.
But, sometimes the voice of discouragement is so loud and it seems to drown out the still, small voice of God. And discouragement snowballs. My discouragement in this area quickly rolls over into other areas of my life. I've been a pretty rotten wife & mother. I don't see a way out of my anger & irritability. I really don't. I sometimes feel invisible in the house full of male energy. I feel like I'm not understood. And, when I'm upset about something it's chalked up to 'hormones'.
Sometimes I feel trapped in my house & helpless to change anything in it. We've done zero work on our house in years. And, there are unfinished projects that need to be done all over the place. John is always busy. I don't know how to do them. And, we don't have the money to hire someone. I'm not just talking the kind of projects that other people seem to do all the time. This is not...oh I'm tired of the paint color. I think we'll spruce up our already beautiful bathroom. No, these are major issues (an un-insulated sunporch just off our kitchen which is really used as part of our kitchen because it houses our refrigerator and some of our cabinetry. But, it's literally falling apart. There's at least a 4 inch hole in the one corner of the wall where the wood is rotting away. A stairway that has 1940s linoleum on the WALLS and crumbling plaster overhead. A downstairs bathroom with an ancient shower stall that is really kind of nasty and a rotting floor. Just to mention a few. Trust me. There's more. )
So this feeling of discouragement & helplessness turns into despair. And, dang it! I just want a cup of coffee or a nice cookie! I've been trying to replace my spirit of despair with a garment of praise ( Isaiah 61:3). But it seems to take a strength of will that I just don't have.
Man! I really didn't intend to be Debbie Downer. Maybe it's just the winter blahs. Maybe I AM hormonal. I just don't know what to do with myself when I'm in this kind of funk.
So moving along....to recap:
Week One: Eliminate caffeine & adult beverages
Week Two: Eliminate sugar
Week Three: Eliminate night-time snacking (Oops. Goofed there this weekend for sure!)
Which brings us to....
Week Four: Eat a healthy, Daniel Fast type lunch. Goal: Train my body to crave good things
This week I'm going to have to work hard to re-instate my week three goal while incorporating a new goal as well. I'm envisioning eating a lot of salads, beans, whole grains, etc. for lunch this week. The Daniel Fast calls for no meat, dairy, sweeteners, beverages other than water, white flours/ grains, or preservatives. I figure I can make this happen for one meal out of the day.
Plugging on......Karen
Karen, I'm right there with you! My sisters and I started an exercise challenge after the New Year that is supposed to incorporate better eating. I started out doing pretty well but this past week, I stunk! Self-control when sweets are in the house and eating after dinner are my weakest spots. Thankfully, the workouts are going great. If you ever decide to try a quick (20 minutes or less) workout routine, you may want to check out Brianna. The name is pretty corny but she's real and the exercise is creating positive changes. Oh, and it's free! http://bikinibodymommy.com Stay on your path! Even if you're not doing it perfectly, you're doing much better than you would be if you weren't doing it at all! :-)
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