A Year in Review and Looking Ahead

What was your word for 2018 and what is your word for the coming year?

My word for 2018 was 'Stronger'. I began the year feeling as though I was on the path to being physically fit. And, I believed that the word 'Stronger' was going to reflect a growing physical strength (and mental strength as well).

As it turns out, 2018 was a year that put me face to face with my weaknesses. I fell off the bandwagon of physical fitness & gained back all the weight I'd worked to lose.

2018 was also a year of battling extreme mood swings - courtesy of peri-menopause and stress.

2018 was a year that I acknowledged that it was time to let go of some things as well. I hung up my hat as coordinator of a vintage market I'd done for the last 5 years. Also my husband and I made a pretty radical decision regarding his work...resulting in him leaving his job of the last 18 years at a family business. It was a hard and painful decision...one that we may be feeling the repercussions from for a long time. And, that has gutted me, left me feeling very vulnerable and tentative.

Despite all this....facing my weaknesses was actually a good thing. I was reminded that I can not grow stronger in my own strength. Willpower isn't enough. Determination isn't enough.

And, I've been forced to come face to face with why some things - lack of self-control in eating and over my emotions, fear, anxiety, need for control, and a tendency toward negative thinking - have become patterns in my life.

I don't have all the answers to getting victory in these areas. But, I know our entire life is a work in progress as God shapes us and molds us into who He has called us to be.

I hold fast to 2 Corinthians 12: 9 - 11. " “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

So, in retrospect, I do believe the word 'Stronger' was appropriate for 2018 as I looked my weaknesses in the eye and came to rely more fully on the One who is my strength.

So, what is my word for 2019? I actually have two.

The first is 'Joy'. Somewhere along the way I have lost my joy. I've allowed circumstances and disappointments, and the mundane to weigh me down to the point where sometimes I dread the day as soon as I wake up. This is not how I want to live.

I want to rediscover laughter and hope and that feeling of expectation as I look to what's ahead.

The second is 'Confidence'. This is an area in which I have always struggled. And, I have allowed my lack of confidence to hold me back, to paralyze me. In fact, I wasn't sure if 'confidence' was actually the right word because I see 2019 as being a year of Doing, of making things happen.

I no longer want to sit back and wait for approval or the opinions of others before I move forward or choose to DO something. Yes, there are situations in life that will require the wise counsel of others, but I don't want to base all my decisions in life on what others will think. I want to be confident in the words I speak and the choices I make.

So there you have it....my words for 2019. Let's face this New Year with great expectation!