Dreaming

|t is Easter Sunday.  We have been spending an extended weekend with my husband's family at a rented house on Seneca Lake in the Finger Lakes region of New York.  The house itself is large & roomy with a wall of windows that overlook the lake that is just steps away.  It has been a serene & gorgeous atmosphere for us to unwind and to connect.

The Finger Lakes region is one of our favorite places to visit.  We first discovered it on a trip in 2010 with friends for my 40th birthday.....and fell in love.  We have stayed on both Seneca Lake & Keuka Lake.  We have done anniversary getaways - just John & I.  We have done trips as a couple with other couples.  We have done trips with family -  we've now been here with both my family & John's family over Easter weekend.  I did a girl's trip one year with girlfriends of mine & John has been on a guy's trip for his brother's bachelor weekend.

The absolute best way to experience the Finger Lakes is to rent a house...preferably lakeside.  It gives the feel of being at home away from home.  When we came the first time, the Finger Lakes were just starting to gain notoriety as a great tourist destination.  The beautiful sweeping landscapes dotted with vineyards & farmland, the gorgeous lakes & quaint towns that sit at the ends of each, and the wine trails have all been pulling more & more people to visit.  It started out as a very affordable vacation.....now though it takes more searching each year to find affordable options for our stays.

We have played with the idea over the years of buying into the real estate here.  Our ideas have ranged from buying a lake house to enjoy as a vacation home & rent out in between.... to buying a permanent residence...perhaps a farm that sits between the lakes and carving out a life in this area we've grown to love.

The major factor that has always held us back is the money....the feasibility of making something like that happen.  We're not exactly 'vacation home people'.  In fact, we are pretty low on the financial pole.  Our actual home is very small, kind of dilapidated, and the idea of fixing our own home up.....much less buying a vacation property.....is out of our current range of economic possibility.  And yes, perhaps if we had forgone our years of taking vacations and getaways & saved that money instead we'd be in a different financial position now.  But, we've never been extravagant the way some people understand extravagant....and the time spent away has been priceless & had created memories that are well worth the money we've spent).

All this to say, every time we come here, we get that same itch to consider what could be.  Could we move here?  Could we make this our home?  This is always met with obstacles...so many obstacles.  For one, I am a creature of habit.  Change is a four letter word for me.  My roots run deep, deep, deep where we are.  And, it's hard to imagine putting down roots somewhere new.   Also, despite the booming tourist trade in the Finger Lakes, it is primarily based in the wine trade.  Overall this is still a fairly financially depressed area.  There's not much in terms of business or trade.  And, what exactly would John & I do to earn our living here?  The land (between the lakes...not lakeside) is definitely more affordable than where we are now.  But, we would still have to find a way to pay for it, to continue to support ourselves.

John & I went for a drive today.  I have been watching properties in this area on Zillow.  My sister in law & I drove past a couple of them yesterday as we were out and about.  And, one area in particular captured my heart even more.  I wanted to show it to John today.

Keuka Lake forms a Y.  The land that sits in the between that Y is secluded & incredibly beautiful.  It's away from the main wine trail route....yet it hosts a multitude of vineyards.  This is where they grow so many of the grapes that are used by the wineries in the area.  It also hosts a state park and dead end roads.  In other words, the people who come here....for the most part...are the people who live here.  It's private...a hidden treasure.  And, the area is breathtaking.

There was a property there for sale that we drove past.  It sits high on a bluff, surrounded by vineyards, and has a peek-a-boo view of the lake.  The house itself is a bit odd.  While the original part of the house is apparently from the 1800s, it has had multiple weird additions over the years that make it long and narrow, and it's covered in siding from (I'm guessing) the 80s.

But, it's what surrounds that property that draws me in.  I could allow my children to ride their bikes anywhere without  fear of traffic...there is very little if any.  We would have privacy (which equals peace to me).  It's quiet & the air is so fresh & clean.  The pressures of the outside world seem so far, far away.

It's not perfect, but it could be amazing.

So, is this just a case of 'the grass is always greener'?  Or could it truly be a chance for a fresh start?  For finding that something that my heart longs for?  Is that 'something' even possible on this side of heaven?  I struggle and struggle and struggle with that question.

I also struggle with the question, "Is is wrong to dream?"  I know we are called to be content in whatever our current location or circumstance is.  There is peace & joy that transcends anything that a change in either could produce.

But....is it wrong to dream?

When I was young and passionate, dreams are what kept me going.  The hope for something new & exciting.  The hope for more.  For opportunities.  For an unknown future.

Somewhere along the line I replaced those dreams with fear, with responsibility, with settling for what I had. 

Listen.  Part of that is maturity and growing.....and the very real aspect of responsibility and reality.

But is there any room yet for the girl who dreamed?  The girl who saw possibilities?

Is it ok for a Christian to dream?  To dream about things that aren't necessarily tied to anything spiritual?  Ah.  There is where I struggle again.  I don't know.  I don't know if these kinds of things distract us from what God would have us do.  Or, if they are a road sign pointing us in the direction He would have us head.

And, then there's also the fact that when we return home, the familiar wraps around me like a secure, warm blanket.   And, those dreams that stirred me just days earlier now seem foreign and scary and not nearly as appealing.

All I know is that it feels like something new needs to happen.  I'm not sure what it is or what form it will take.  But, my soul cries out for something fresh & vibrant to breath life into me.