The Battle is His

I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday.  Overwhelmed by the hardness and callousness of this age.  When people can be confronted face to face with what abortion is.  When people can see plain as day that Planned Parenthood has been breaking federal law....when they see the casual-ness with which they discuss the sale of the body parts of unborn babies.  And not care.

But more than not care.  They defend.  They lash out in anger...in hatred.

And I feel helpless.  How do I respond?  What kind of difference can I make when hearts are so hardened?

And I came across this passage in 2 Chronicles 20: 15-17.  It felt like it was meant for me in this situation....

"He said Listen King Jehosophat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem.  This is what the Lord says to you.

  'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army.  For the battle is not yours, but God's. Tomorrow march down against them.

 They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel.

You will not have to fight this battle.  Take up your positions, stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you O Judah & Jerusalem.

 Do not be afraid.  Do not be discouraged.  Go out to face them tomorrow and the Lord will be with you."

Jehosophat and his people responded with praise.  The day of the battle they sang and praised God.  And as they did, God began to defeat the enemy causing confusion among them so that they destroyed each other.  King Jehosophat's army never had to fight.

Verses 29-30
"The fear of God came among all the kingdoms of the countries when they heard how the Lord had fought against the enemies of Israel.  And the kingdom of Jehosophat was at peace, for his God had given him rest on  every side."

God fought the battle.  And, God received His glory.

And I felt God was saying to me.....
The battle is not yours.  It is the Lord's.  Do not feel compelled to do what I have not asked you to do.  Do only what I ask.  And I am asking you to pray.

So stand firm.  Pray.  Praise Him.  The battle is His!

Fifty five million

Fifty five million.  Fifty five million men, women, and children who should be here..standing beside us, a part of our lives. Sometimes maybe you can sense what could have been, what should have been...in a whisper, in shadow & light, in a thought much like a memory.

Fifty five million people who WERE and then were not.  Can you feel them?  They should be here now.  They would be our brothers & sisters, our aunts & uncles, our friends, our colleagues, our spouses.  Today some of them would be fathers & mothers themselves.  They would be connected to us, an intricate part of our lives.  If you've ever felt that something was missing..someone was missing....it's because they are.  Fifty five million people are missing.

Entire generations, entire futures eliminated, erased.

Each life is unique.  We know this.  This is scientific fact.  The genetic code in each and every person is unique to that person.  There never was and never will be another person like the person introduced at the time of conception.

So how many unique opportunities, talents, skills have been discarded along with fifty five million people?  Countless.  Where would we be today with them beside us?  We will never know.

We can't get back what has been lost. But we can take a stand. And we can offer HOPE to the women who face what others tell them are impossible circumstances. We can offer SUPPORT to those who choose life...support going beyond just the birth of their child and speak life into their lives.. We can offer HEALING to those who made a different choice. We can offer LOVE to those around us. And we can speak up for LIFE.

The Thorn in My Side

I have a problem with food.  Well, actualy, I should point out that I LOVE food.  My problem is actually a problem with self-control.

So many of my Facebook friends seem to have gotten on the health boat and are sailing along so smoothly.
I've gotten on many health boats over my lifetime,  But, as the boat starts to pull away from the shore, food beckons me with it's siren song & I jump from the boat & swim back to my island of "I'm gonna eat what I want to eat when I want to eat" and "It's easier to just sit here & I don't want to exercise".

And, the thing is, I know from experience that being healthy feels good.  It feels so much better than the blobby ball of lethargy and blech that I am now.  But, even those times I've worked hard to get to a certain point and I feel good, I'm still eventually wooed back by the allure of eating greasy, fatty, salty, sweet, rich, decadent food.

I can't even imagine long term maintenance of weight loss....because I ALWAYS gain it back.
There's a part of me that has thrown in the towel and says that I just don't care anymore...that feels destined to always have a weight problem.

But, then there's another part of me that doesn't want to become what I'm becoming....I already see the toll that carrying around extra weight is taking on my body.  I have so little energy, aches & pains, it aggravates my varicose veins (which are a genetic trait passed down in my family, but which I think could be lessened if I wasn't so heavy).  I waddle when I walk.  I get out of breath quickly.  I DON"T want to get old before I'm old!

Looking at everyone else's successes actually makes me less motivated....if that makes any sense.  I see everyone tapping into something that finally clicked for them.  And, I've tried so. many. times.  Even when I think I've finally found my groove, I always, always, always fall back into my old ways.

Food in many ways is an addiction for me.  I hesitate to use that word, 'addiction' because I think it sometimes gets overused.  But, when I look back over my relationship with food I definitely see some addictive behavior patterns.  And, I know from my past and with other issues, it's very easy for me to fall into addictive behavior.

I'm frustrated.  I know it's going to take work.  And work is....hard.  It's so much easier just to not think about making healthy choices.  When I'm feeling discouraged & lethargic, where do I find that motivation to pull myself up by the bootstraps...especially when the boots feel so heavy?

I'm not sure what I'm looking for.  Not sympathy or pity.  I've written about this struggle often enough for it to sound like a broken record.  I guess I just needed to vent.  I needed to express what's on my heart and mind.  Sometimes, just writing it out...giving it a voice...helps bring me some relief and clarity.

Be Still

There has been a great heaviness on my heart.
I watch as this world spins out of control.
People consumed with a thirst for self-fulfillment and pleasure.
There is no room for authority.  No room for right or wrong.
Everything is relative.
They not only reject God, but scorn Him, spit upon Him, loathe Him.

And, it breaks my heart.
I've been saying that a lot lately.
But, it's true.  My heart is broken.
To know that so many refuse to see
There is more.
More than what running after their own passions can ever supply.

And, I feel helpless.
Any word I might speak in love
is misconstrued as hate, as intolerance, as oppression.
The blinders are on.
They can't see the chains binding them.
That God wants to free them.

I spent the afternoon listening to hymns, finding comfort there.
Be still, and know that I am God.
And in my stillness...a prayer, a word of faith rose up within me.....
Perhaps it will bring you the peace it brought me.

He is still sovereign  Isaiah 25:8

He is still sufficient  2 Corinthians 12:9

His great love & mercy endureth forever  Psalm 136:4

He is Alpha & Omega, beginning and the end  Revelation 21:6

He makes known from ancient times what is still to come  Isaiah 46:10

His compassions they fail not  Lamentations 3:22

Every knee shall bow & every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord  Phillipians 2:10

His mercies are new every morning.  Lamentations 3:23

He is my strength  Psalm 28:8

He is my righteousness  Isaiah 61:10

He is our fortress  2 Samuel 22:33

He is our refuge  Psalm 46:1

There is none like Him.  Isaiah 46:9

He is Holy.  Isaiah 6:3

His purposes stand.  Psalm 36:11


Do not listen to the roaring
   of the world
The wild clashing
   and angry refrains

It seeks to drown out
   His peaceful song
His sweet melody
   the world cannot endure

But Truth rings out
    soft and pure
In the hearts of men
    a remnant stands

Still yourself
     lest you cease to hear
the gentle leading
     in your soul