Thursday, August 16, 2012

Note To Self

A note to my future self....

When I've made it through these 'in the trenches' years of motherhood and have moved into another, gentler season that tempers and smooths the edges of my memories, I hope that I remember enough that I can encourage & strengthen the next group of mothers who take up their own battle.

If I have the opportunity to share with young moms when I have become that seasoned mother, I want to be honest about how hard it was, how some days I struggled to get through each day minute by minute.

I want to be honest and open about my many failures as a mom and the imperfections of my own children.

I want them to know that they are not alone. They are not crazy.  And, they are not bad moms.

Motherhood is hard.  Very hard.  But, we pretend otherwise.

I'd like to start a Pinterest page for those down and dirty moments of life....the angry, temper tantrum, whining, fighting, overflowing toilets & mile hile laundry piles moments.  I know Pinterest is supposed to be an inspiration board.  But, lately, I would take more inspiration from stories from those moms who lived it and made it through than I do from another cute way to cut a sandwich or the latest DIY home decor.

I want someone to be real with me.  And so, future self, please remember to be real to those future moms you meet.  I imagine you WILL make it through and that is what you need to share with them.


  1. I'm right with you, Karen. I've noticed that younger (than me) moms I talk to really appreciate it when I'm open with them about how hard being a mom can be. I'm not sure I had moms affirm the hard times when I was just starting out, but it would've been helpful.

  2. Hang in there. You are in the trenches. This is the toughest time. When my boys were young and the day had been rough I dreamed of the commercial 'Callgon take me away', and I meant it. I wanted a day of rest where there were no demands, messes, laundry, etc... You make it through even though sometimes you fell into bed to recoup so you could do it all again the next day. My boys are now grown with families of their own. They are some of the finest fellows in the world. It is worth every minute but there are days that you are working with all of your strength and being. Calling a friend that was in the same boat always helped so we could laugh together about it or calling my mom so she could bolster me up reminding me this is just a season that passes. So this is my bolster to you. Hang in there it is so tough and rough right now but it is worth it. When they are grown you will look back with awe and amazement and you will have stories to tell and laugh at for YEARS to come.

  3. My mom gets upset that I write about my faults on my blog.
    She feels I belittle myself.
    But, I feel like we have to be honest with each other, so we all know we are going through the same thing.
    It is so hard, but I keep reminding myself how fast it goes.
    I heard someone recently say "the days are long, but the years go by fast".
    I pray you have a great week this week.
    You are a great mom!

  4. Yes! Start that Pinterest board! :)

  5. Karen, I just discovered your blog today, and I already feel like we must be sisters separated at birth... gardening for weeds, furniture remaking, home remodeling, AND three boys 4 and under! (<<at least, on this end) I agree with your sentiments... motherhood is so shockingly frustrating at times, and yet when I'm honest about that, instead of an "attaboy," I often get, "And you want another?" Or, "Well, you did CHOOSE to have THREE KIDS." (<<Is that really a big number?) I feel like the Christian motherhood books I read all call me to this impossible standard of consistently disciplining while never losing my temper and also cooking all homemade meals and having a tidy house (etc etc etc), while the mommy blogs out there oftentimes seem to celebrate mediocrity (or worse). Finding balance is key in all things, right? I thank God that I have Jesus, because otherwise, I'd be sunk.

  6. Last night I visited with two young mothers while I was working the church nursery rocking ask, what would you want to say to us...I said, enjoy, enjoy them..they grow up so fast...toss all the books out the door and go with your heart, remember that strong character in that child that wears you out is the character God will use to walk them through things you never dreamed they would have to walk through...they might need that tenacity!

    Hugs...from this seasoned mother...who looks back and has forgotten the sleepless nights and now cries at times and just wants to go back for one truly passes so fast!!

  7. just wondering how you are doing? I hope all is well you are still in my thoughts!


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