What I remember from 9 years ago - I was working at KinderCare. One of the teachers heard on the radio that a plane struck one of the twin towers. I initially thought a plane clipped a tower antennae or something. As we continued to listen, the events unfolded & horror came over us all. Parents started picking up their children early. Everyone was in shock.
I remember talking to my mom on the phone. She was watching it all on tv - I remember her saying with panic in her voice, "Someone is attacking us!"
Since I was at work all day I never really saw much of the news reports and videos that were coming out. I am thankful now for that.
All this happened 4 days before our wedding. Everything was so confused and unsure at that time we weren't even sure if our wedding could continue as scheduled. It did. But, I know of at least one person who wasn't able to come because he was stranded elsewhere because all flights were stopped.
We actually decided to go on our honeymoon to Costa Rica. Flights began again right before we left. It was with some trepidation on my part and the planes were virtually empty. So, was the resort we went to - usually filled with American tourists. Only the locals were there. And, I remember talking with them in our broken Spanish and their broken English about the tragedy. They were so sad for our country.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
A Large Church
So, I had another blog post in mind for today - one all about how I cooked with spaghetti squash for the very first time. I have pictures and everything. I'm still going to do that post, but something else is really on my mind today.
I hesitate to write this post because there are people who read my blog who I'm afraid might take offense to what I am going to write. People I know personally. And, I'm hoping to do it with as much grace and non-judgement as I can. And as you read this I ask that you read it with some grace for me too. I'm trying to work through my thoughts and writing them out is often what works best for me.
Wow. That's quite a lead-in isn't it? Let me get you up to speed. To do that I'm going to take you back about 9 years. During the time John & I were engaged and then newlyweds, we searched for the right church for us as a couple. We tried the church he attended during his early 20's, but I wasn't comfortable with how 'charismatic' is was. We tried some other churches in our area (one from the denomination I grew up in) but they were too 'stodgy'.
Then we tried the church that John grew up in. It's a large church. I felt it might be a little too large. But, we started attending semi-regularly and thought that we may have found a nice 'compromise' church for us.
About 2 months or so into our attending, they introduced a building project. The church also housed a private Christian school (actually the one my husband had gone to). The church and the school were outgrowing sharing the same building. I could kind of understand this. But, what I couldn't understand was the amount of money they were proposing spending to build a separate church building on their property. 18 million dollars.
I could not wrap my mind around this kind of money. There are churches in other countries that meet in huts with dirt floors. There are ministries right in our own area that need support. And there are people, often our own neighbors, who struggle to make ends meet. Why did such an extravagant amount of money need to be spent on building a church?
We continued to attend the church for a short time after that. But, I couldn't come to a point where I agreed with this decision. A conversation I had with one of the staff of the church in which he tried to explain the expense as a way to reach out to the needs/ expectations of a culture that looks for the kinds of amenities you might have at a nice mall. Was he comparing the church to a shopping mall?
That kind of sealed the deal for me. I felt like we needed to find another church. My poor husband thought we had finally settled in and now I was telling him I didn't think I could continue going there. The good outcome was that was when we found New Hope Community Church....a tiny church that met in a converted warehouse. We were part of New Hope for most of the last 9 years and formed wonderful relationships there that will never end. (Last year we had started attending another church. I talked about that journey a bit here. And, unfortunately, New Hope ended late this summer).
Fast forward to our first child being born seven years ago. A friend who still attended the large church we left invited me to attend a moms group that was meeting there. I did and I fell in love with the moms group and have been attending their bi-weekly Friday meetings ever since. I also was involved in the group as a small group leader and hospitality staff. Even though I didn't attend the church itself I've gotten to know so many moms through the group - some who attended that church and some who attended other churches. I've made wonderful, wonderful friends there. And, as a mom to young children, the support and encouragement I've received has been priceless. The building project had been put on hold in the meantime too and I really didn't think a whole lot about that aspect of the church anymore.
Fast forward again. To this morning. It was our first moms meeting of the new school year. And, it was our first meeting in the new church building. The building project which had been on hold finally started last year and was recently completed. As a matter of fact I believe the congregation recently had it's very first service in the building.
And, what a building. A full-size cafe, a fireside 'chat' room, a wall water cascade, cathedral ceilings, beautiful furnishings. All this was just in the walk to the child care suite and the meeting room where we were going to be (which was complete with one of the largest flat screen tvs I've ever seen).
And, I felt....How can I describe what I felt? I guess the best word I can come up with is unsettled. I felt unsettled and disturbed. Have we, the church, bought into our culture's love affair with bigger, better, more? Have we forgotten our responsibility as the church to care for others and their needs? Have we mistaken our own comfort as one of those 'needs'?
Then I have to wonder if I am being somewhat hypocritical. After all, for the last 7 years I've taken advantage of the one of the programs that church is able to offer. And, I will say in defense of the church that they do offer an extensive amount of programs. They truly make an effort to reach out to people in every walk & stage of life. They have programs for people who are working through addictions, people struggling with depression; they have programs for senior citizens, and numerous programs for children. I can't begin to list all the wonderful support systems this church offers not just to it's own members, but also the community.
I guess that kind of support system is possible because it is a large church, a wealthy church.
But, still, I am perplexed. I am even a little bit sad. I think of ways that money could have been used. Could they have foregone the wall water cascade and given that money to the local ministry that reaches out to teenage moms but is often unable to pay it's staff members because of so few funds available? Could they have scaled back on the technology and given that money to missionaries overseas who are trying to raise money to build a well in their village? Could it just have been a little less so that more could have gone to those truly in need?
It makes me think of the book Revolution in World Missions by K. P. Yohannan. It's one that Thy Hand Hath Provided is doing a book study of right now. I read the book a couple years ago and my mindset about my own comfort/ needs was definitely challenged. It is a book I would highly recommend you read. And, if you click on the link with the book title, you can actually request one for free.
I'm still struggling with what I'm thinking/ feeling. But, I'm also reminded that when I feel that way I need to go to the Word. I need to read what God says and then let him speak to my spirit.
I hesitate to write this post because there are people who read my blog who I'm afraid might take offense to what I am going to write. People I know personally. And, I'm hoping to do it with as much grace and non-judgement as I can. And as you read this I ask that you read it with some grace for me too. I'm trying to work through my thoughts and writing them out is often what works best for me.
Wow. That's quite a lead-in isn't it? Let me get you up to speed. To do that I'm going to take you back about 9 years. During the time John & I were engaged and then newlyweds, we searched for the right church for us as a couple. We tried the church he attended during his early 20's, but I wasn't comfortable with how 'charismatic' is was. We tried some other churches in our area (one from the denomination I grew up in) but they were too 'stodgy'.
Then we tried the church that John grew up in. It's a large church. I felt it might be a little too large. But, we started attending semi-regularly and thought that we may have found a nice 'compromise' church for us.
About 2 months or so into our attending, they introduced a building project. The church also housed a private Christian school (actually the one my husband had gone to). The church and the school were outgrowing sharing the same building. I could kind of understand this. But, what I couldn't understand was the amount of money they were proposing spending to build a separate church building on their property. 18 million dollars.
I could not wrap my mind around this kind of money. There are churches in other countries that meet in huts with dirt floors. There are ministries right in our own area that need support. And there are people, often our own neighbors, who struggle to make ends meet. Why did such an extravagant amount of money need to be spent on building a church?
We continued to attend the church for a short time after that. But, I couldn't come to a point where I agreed with this decision. A conversation I had with one of the staff of the church in which he tried to explain the expense as a way to reach out to the needs/ expectations of a culture that looks for the kinds of amenities you might have at a nice mall. Was he comparing the church to a shopping mall?
That kind of sealed the deal for me. I felt like we needed to find another church. My poor husband thought we had finally settled in and now I was telling him I didn't think I could continue going there. The good outcome was that was when we found New Hope Community Church....a tiny church that met in a converted warehouse. We were part of New Hope for most of the last 9 years and formed wonderful relationships there that will never end. (Last year we had started attending another church. I talked about that journey a bit here. And, unfortunately, New Hope ended late this summer).
Fast forward to our first child being born seven years ago. A friend who still attended the large church we left invited me to attend a moms group that was meeting there. I did and I fell in love with the moms group and have been attending their bi-weekly Friday meetings ever since. I also was involved in the group as a small group leader and hospitality staff. Even though I didn't attend the church itself I've gotten to know so many moms through the group - some who attended that church and some who attended other churches. I've made wonderful, wonderful friends there. And, as a mom to young children, the support and encouragement I've received has been priceless. The building project had been put on hold in the meantime too and I really didn't think a whole lot about that aspect of the church anymore.
Fast forward again. To this morning. It was our first moms meeting of the new school year. And, it was our first meeting in the new church building. The building project which had been on hold finally started last year and was recently completed. As a matter of fact I believe the congregation recently had it's very first service in the building.
And, what a building. A full-size cafe, a fireside 'chat' room, a wall water cascade, cathedral ceilings, beautiful furnishings. All this was just in the walk to the child care suite and the meeting room where we were going to be (which was complete with one of the largest flat screen tvs I've ever seen).
And, I felt....How can I describe what I felt? I guess the best word I can come up with is unsettled. I felt unsettled and disturbed. Have we, the church, bought into our culture's love affair with bigger, better, more? Have we forgotten our responsibility as the church to care for others and their needs? Have we mistaken our own comfort as one of those 'needs'?
Then I have to wonder if I am being somewhat hypocritical. After all, for the last 7 years I've taken advantage of the one of the programs that church is able to offer. And, I will say in defense of the church that they do offer an extensive amount of programs. They truly make an effort to reach out to people in every walk & stage of life. They have programs for people who are working through addictions, people struggling with depression; they have programs for senior citizens, and numerous programs for children. I can't begin to list all the wonderful support systems this church offers not just to it's own members, but also the community.
I guess that kind of support system is possible because it is a large church, a wealthy church.
But, still, I am perplexed. I am even a little bit sad. I think of ways that money could have been used. Could they have foregone the wall water cascade and given that money to the local ministry that reaches out to teenage moms but is often unable to pay it's staff members because of so few funds available? Could they have scaled back on the technology and given that money to missionaries overseas who are trying to raise money to build a well in their village? Could it just have been a little less so that more could have gone to those truly in need?
It makes me think of the book Revolution in World Missions by K. P. Yohannan. It's one that Thy Hand Hath Provided is doing a book study of right now. I read the book a couple years ago and my mindset about my own comfort/ needs was definitely challenged. It is a book I would highly recommend you read. And, if you click on the link with the book title, you can actually request one for free.
I'm still struggling with what I'm thinking/ feeling. But, I'm also reminded that when I feel that way I need to go to the Word. I need to read what God says and then let him speak to my spirit.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
But They Were Playing So Nicely...
I should have learned my lesson by now.
Edison and Charlie were playing outside, and for almost 15 whole minutes there was no crying, no fussing, no fighting. There were only happy voices...and quiet.
I should know from past experience that when it is too quiet I should go check on them.
Apparently they decided to make a dirt road for their trucks.
On my porch.
Because of how the light was coming in, it was hard to get a good picture.
Trust me, it was a lot of dirt.
It was easy enough to sweep off, but somehow I'm still amazed by the superpower of little boys....creating messes where there were none in lightning speed.
Edison and Charlie were playing outside, and for almost 15 whole minutes there was no crying, no fussing, no fighting. There were only happy voices...and quiet.
I should know from past experience that when it is too quiet I should go check on them.
Apparently they decided to make a dirt road for their trucks.
On my porch.
It was easy enough to sweep off, but somehow I'm still amazed by the superpower of little boys....creating messes where there were none in lightning speed.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
What Did She Do Next?
I love a good story. I love the way an author can use words to pull you into another place, another time, another life. I love the way details help to flesh out a story or a character.
Especially a character. Reading about someone's feelings, background, actions, reactions all intrigue me and help me get lost in the story.
If I'm honest this is what sometimes makes reading the Bible difficult for me. Those details often aren't included. The stories sometimes leave us hanging. (I guess that's why I enjoy Christian fiction authors like Francine Rivers so much. She's able to bring the Bible stories & characters to life...based on biblical fact but her own imagination fills in the blanks.)
One of the stories in the Bible that I keep coming back to is the story of Mary and Martha. It's one that speaks to me so much in this stage of life. I've mentioned before that I so often feel like Martha. Overwhelmed. Overworked. Stressed.
But, as I was reading the story again the other day, I was left wondering and imagining.
After Jesus said to Martha, "Martha, Martha. You are worried and upset about many things; but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42. NIV) the story ends.
Boom. Over.
Here is what I really want to know....What did Martha do next? What was her response?
Did she stomp away annoyed and even more upset that she didn't get the help she was expecting?
Did she find a quiet place to cry overwhelmed by Jesus' words?
Did she feel chastised? ashamed?
Did she sit down and listen alongside Mary?
Did she simply go back to her preparations perplexed by Jesus' words?
What did she do?
As I thought about it more, I slowly started to realize that it's not really important what Martha's response was. (And, someday in eternity we can discuss it at length). What matters is OUR response.
Especially a character. Reading about someone's feelings, background, actions, reactions all intrigue me and help me get lost in the story.
If I'm honest this is what sometimes makes reading the Bible difficult for me. Those details often aren't included. The stories sometimes leave us hanging. (I guess that's why I enjoy Christian fiction authors like Francine Rivers so much. She's able to bring the Bible stories & characters to life...based on biblical fact but her own imagination fills in the blanks.)
One of the stories in the Bible that I keep coming back to is the story of Mary and Martha. It's one that speaks to me so much in this stage of life. I've mentioned before that I so often feel like Martha. Overwhelmed. Overworked. Stressed.
But, as I was reading the story again the other day, I was left wondering and imagining.
After Jesus said to Martha, "Martha, Martha. You are worried and upset about many things; but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42. NIV) the story ends.
Boom. Over.
Here is what I really want to know....What did Martha do next? What was her response?
Did she stomp away annoyed and even more upset that she didn't get the help she was expecting?
Did she find a quiet place to cry overwhelmed by Jesus' words?
Did she feel chastised? ashamed?
Did she sit down and listen alongside Mary?
Did she simply go back to her preparations perplexed by Jesus' words?
What did she do?
As I thought about it more, I slowly started to realize that it's not really important what Martha's response was. (And, someday in eternity we can discuss it at length). What matters is OUR response.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Urge to Purge
I tend to be very sentimental about things. I have a very poor memory in general but when it come to my things I can remember where each item came from, where I was living at the time, what point of life I was in.
The same holds true about my children's things. I remember if something was given as a shower gift, birthday gift, or Christmas gift. I can remember who gave it to them.
And, this ability to remember has made it very difficult to let go of things. Maybe I've been afraid that letting go of the things will mean letting go of the memory. I've worried about offending the people who gave it as a gift.
Other things that have made it difficult to purge my house of all the stuff it's accumulated is the worry that if I get rid of something, I might need it or wish I had it someday. I've also been stuck with stuff because I think that I should really try putting it all together for a yard sale..or I should try selling it on ebay or craigslist. And, then it continues to sit in boxes or closets, or in whatever portion of our house designated as a 'waiting' area...and it waits and waits for that magical moment when I have enough time to organize it and DO something with it.
Well, lately I've been getting tired...really, really tired of how stuff has been ordering my life instead of the other way around. And, something has begun to break through. That something is the urge to purge!
While I do still have a few boxes of items set aside for that 'someday' yard sale, more often than not I've been purging...
Clothes that don't get worn or are stained or ripped? In a bag to be dropped off at a clothing drop (some places will take ripped/stained clothes & then sell them to companies that recycle clothing)
Broken toys? Toss 'em.
Books & magazines I'm done reading? Donate them to the library for their annual book sale.
Things I just don't use anymore? Drop them off at a reuzit store or....
One of my favorite things to do is to set them in front of our house marked 'FREE'. It saves me the trip to the drop-off and it's kind of fun to watch and see who will stop to pick them up. Here are some items I had out front yesterday.
The same holds true about my children's things. I remember if something was given as a shower gift, birthday gift, or Christmas gift. I can remember who gave it to them.
And, this ability to remember has made it very difficult to let go of things. Maybe I've been afraid that letting go of the things will mean letting go of the memory. I've worried about offending the people who gave it as a gift.
Other things that have made it difficult to purge my house of all the stuff it's accumulated is the worry that if I get rid of something, I might need it or wish I had it someday. I've also been stuck with stuff because I think that I should really try putting it all together for a yard sale..or I should try selling it on ebay or craigslist. And, then it continues to sit in boxes or closets, or in whatever portion of our house designated as a 'waiting' area...and it waits and waits for that magical moment when I have enough time to organize it and DO something with it.
Well, lately I've been getting tired...really, really tired of how stuff has been ordering my life instead of the other way around. And, something has begun to break through. That something is the urge to purge!
While I do still have a few boxes of items set aside for that 'someday' yard sale, more often than not I've been purging...
Clothes that don't get worn or are stained or ripped? In a bag to be dropped off at a clothing drop (some places will take ripped/stained clothes & then sell them to companies that recycle clothing)
Broken toys? Toss 'em.
Books & magazines I'm done reading? Donate them to the library for their annual book sale.
Things I just don't use anymore? Drop them off at a reuzit store or....
One of my favorite things to do is to set them in front of our house marked 'FREE'. It saves me the trip to the drop-off and it's kind of fun to watch and see who will stop to pick them up. Here are some items I had out front yesterday.
Some of you might wonder why I wouldn't sell the baby items at a yard sale. Honestly they have been sitting in our one room in a pile of yard sale hopefuls taking up space. And, I was just tired of it, ready to be rid of them. I figured, is it really worth my time & effort to store this, mark it & try to sell it for the sake a few dollars? Or, I can put this out and hopefully someone who can really use it, takes it.
As it turned out, two women stopped at the same time to pick up the baby items. I thought for a minute there was going to be a fight over who got to take them, but I guess they worked it out.
This dry sink was part of the dining room set to our old dining table. The table & chairs are long since gone, having been well used (read: falling apart). I held on to the dry sink (a really solid piece) because it was a) holding our board games & puzzles and b) I thought that someday I might paint it.
I realized that I was probably never going to tackle the painting project & I was just tired of it. So, out it went.
And, someone eventually took it. (An Amishman in his buggy stopped first to take a look at it. While he didn't take it he did let my boys pet his horse.)
The only dilemna getting rid of the dry sink cause was....
where to go with all the games?
Finally, I also had to share a picture of a really cool yard sale find. This might seem counter-intuitive to my 'urge to purge'. But, this is something I just couldn't pass up.
An air hockey table!!! Something my boys thought would be really cool to have. AND I got it for $5!!!!
It's currently in the space left behind by the dry sink in our computer room. This will not be it's final location. I would like to move it out to our sunroom...which inspires more purging!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
What's For Snack?
My boys have been coming home from school famished. The first words out of their mouths are 'What's for snack?' as they drop their backpacks and start rummaging through the cupboard.
I've been incredibly frustrated because I'll list option after option...all met with groans of dissatisfaction.
"We've got graham crackers." Ugh. No.
"How about pretzels?" Uh uh.
"Fig bars?" I don't feel like fig bars.
And on and on this would go. All the while things are falling out of the cupboard as they are searching in the deepest darkest corners for something that's good.
I needed a snack solution.
And, it wasn't new fancy snacks.
I needed to make their options more visible and accessible. Then they would be responsible for choosing what they would eat. Here's what I did...
I hadn't put away our picnic basket yet (usually after summertime is over it goes back up in the attic). I decided to bag up snack choices in snack sized baggies and put them in the picnic basket.
This was a great way to clear my cupboards of mostly empty cracker boxes and bags. And, it's all easy for them to see & reach.
Some snacks I bagged....
pretzels
life cereal
triscuits
raisins
graham crackers
ranch fish crackers
smores fish crackers
cheezits
fig bars
The boys were very receptive to this yesterday. They each probably picked out 3 or 4 bags of snacks. (I think I'm going to put a 1 or 2 bag limit on them. But yesterday I didn't want to squelch their enthusiasm.). The BEST part was NO WHINING!
I'd like to do something similar to this with refrigerated items and have a spot set aside in the fridge with easy to grab & eat snacks - little baggies of carrots, string cheese, yogurt, fruit, etc.
What do you do for snacks at your house?
I've been incredibly frustrated because I'll list option after option...all met with groans of dissatisfaction.
"We've got graham crackers." Ugh. No.
"How about pretzels?" Uh uh.
"Fig bars?" I don't feel like fig bars.
And on and on this would go. All the while things are falling out of the cupboard as they are searching in the deepest darkest corners for something that's good.
I needed a snack solution.
And, it wasn't new fancy snacks.
I needed to make their options more visible and accessible. Then they would be responsible for choosing what they would eat. Here's what I did...
I hadn't put away our picnic basket yet (usually after summertime is over it goes back up in the attic). I decided to bag up snack choices in snack sized baggies and put them in the picnic basket.
This was a great way to clear my cupboards of mostly empty cracker boxes and bags. And, it's all easy for them to see & reach.
Some snacks I bagged....
pretzels
life cereal
triscuits
raisins
graham crackers
ranch fish crackers
smores fish crackers
cheezits
fig bars
The boys were very receptive to this yesterday. They each probably picked out 3 or 4 bags of snacks. (I think I'm going to put a 1 or 2 bag limit on them. But yesterday I didn't want to squelch their enthusiasm.). The BEST part was NO WHINING!
I'd like to do something similar to this with refrigerated items and have a spot set aside in the fridge with easy to grab & eat snacks - little baggies of carrots, string cheese, yogurt, fruit, etc.
What do you do for snacks at your house?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Finally, Some First Day of School Pics
We're on the third day of school and this is the first day that our schedule has started to look like what I had envisioned. We took Edison to PM Kindergarten after lunch and the little two fell asleep in the van. So, now I have the big two at school and the little two sleeping. Aaahhh. Now, I hope to get some things done, but thought I'd check in here first.
On a side note, I think my husband thinks I'm a little wacky with this whole blogging thing right now. For instance the other day I had a short window of free time, during which I blogged, and he was incredulous that I would spend my precious free time blogging.
Plus, I think I talk about other people's blogs too much to him. Too many of my conversations begin with "Today I read on another blog..." or "Do you know what another blogger said?" Cue the blank stare from my husband.
Anyway, I wanted to share some back to school pics, so here goes....(I have a really bad habit of never clearing my memory card, so it took me forever to download just a few pictures. I almost gave up. Just wanted to share that frustration with you.)
On a side note, I think my husband thinks I'm a little wacky with this whole blogging thing right now. For instance the other day I had a short window of free time, during which I blogged, and he was incredulous that I would spend my precious free time blogging.
Plus, I think I talk about other people's blogs too much to him. Too many of my conversations begin with "Today I read on another blog..." or "Do you know what another blogger said?" Cue the blank stare from my husband.
Anyway, I wanted to share some back to school pics, so here goes....(I have a really bad habit of never clearing my memory card, so it took me forever to download just a few pictures. I almost gave up. Just wanted to share that frustration with you.)
Wyatt - Second Grade
Edison - Kindergarten
Waiting in the van at the school.
Time to go in.
Edison and his teacher. He has the same teacher for Kindergarten that Wyatt had. She's awesome!
My School Boys
My Husband's Idea of School Transportation
The second day of school John took Edison to Kindergarten...his way. For everyone out there gasping in disbelief, yes, he really took him on the motorcycle. We sort of set a precedent with Wyatt when he was in Kindergarten...that was the first time Wyatt rode on the motorcycle with John. So, of course Edison wanted to do the same.
How do I feel about this? Not great. And trust me, there was (and there still is) a great deal of discussion over this subject. But John assures me he is very, very careful with them. I always tell him, it's not him I'm worried about...it's other drivers. What do you all think? Would you be comfortable with this?
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