Well, we're back from the beach...and we truly had a wonderful time. I had planned to have an upbeat, fun post with lots of pictures for my first post after returning from vacation. And, I will indeed be working on such a post.
But, tonight, my heart is heavy. I spoke with a dear friend on the phone. And, she and her husband are headed to divorce. I knew they were struggling but I didn't know exactly how much.
My husband and I have known them since they were expecting their first child who is just about the same age as our second child. We have watched each other's families grow. And, now I am watching their family come apart.
I'm so sad, perplexed, confused. Another marriage crumbling. And, it seems that I know of so many marriages that have ended or that are struggling.
I'm wrestling with so many questions. How do I pray? If I pray in a certain way will it make more difference? (I know. I know. God hears. He knows. I don't need elaborate words...and I don't have them now anyway.) What do I say to this couple? Do I do more than listen? Do I encourage them to continue to fight for their marriage? Will it matter if I do? It seems that when it gets to the point where people decide on divorce they feel like there's no turning back.
The words & music to 'Slow Fade' by Casting Crowns keeps going through my mind.
I am praying tonight for healing, for reconciliation, for wisdom.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Heading To The Beach
We're headed to the beach this weekend with wonderful friends and their children. It should be a blast...and hopefully relaxing too.
I always get myself stressed out when I'm trying to prepare to go away with my family. I've got a zillion things running through that my that need to be done, supplies to be bought, items to be packed, etc. I usually write them down on paper so I can hopefully remember everything. Not to mention, I want to leave the house in a way that I would like to return to it.
My husband is more of a 'throw a couple shirts, a pair of shorts, and a couple pair of fresh underwear in a bag' kind of guy. He figures if we forget anything there is always a store within a short drive.
Why can't I be more like that?
Well, in an attempt to begin my vacation refreshed and not completely worn out, I'm going to bed at a decent time tonight. And, what I get done tomorrow before we leave, I get done. And, what I don't...I suppose the earth will continue spinning on it's axis anyway.
Have a great weekend everyone!
I always get myself stressed out when I'm trying to prepare to go away with my family. I've got a zillion things running through that my that need to be done, supplies to be bought, items to be packed, etc. I usually write them down on paper so I can hopefully remember everything. Not to mention, I want to leave the house in a way that I would like to return to it.
My husband is more of a 'throw a couple shirts, a pair of shorts, and a couple pair of fresh underwear in a bag' kind of guy. He figures if we forget anything there is always a store within a short drive.
Why can't I be more like that?
Well, in an attempt to begin my vacation refreshed and not completely worn out, I'm going to bed at a decent time tonight. And, what I get done tomorrow before we leave, I get done. And, what I don't...I suppose the earth will continue spinning on it's axis anyway.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Kids & Chores
There are some things that I know that I want for my boys.
First and foremost I want them to know, love, honor, and serve God.
I also want them to become men of integrity. Men who are kind & considerate. I would like them to be gentlemen.
In addition to all that, it is my desire that they would be hard workers just as the men before them. My father and grandfather, my husband, my father-in-law, my husband's grandfather....all these men who have had a strong work ethic.
I do not want my boys to get sucked into the mentality of a generation that seems to embrace laziness, entitlement, and takes little self-responsibility.
So, when trying to get my boys to do a few simple chores results in whining, moaning, complaining, stalling, arguing, etc. etc., it's annoying & exhausting. And, I envision them as teenagers behaving the same way and that's just downright scary!
I would love for them to do their chores willingly and with enthusiasm.
But, I'm also realistic. I can't say I do my own work around the house with a ton of enthusiasm.
Having them do their chores obediently and without whining (and all the above mentioned theatrics) would be great!
I had this book for awhile and if I remember it had some really great tips. And, it was based on biblical principles. It's called, Do I Have To? What To Do About Children Who Do Too Little Around The House by Patricia Sprinkle.
But, I'm not sure where it is anymore. Did I get rid of it? Why would I have done that?
I did find the author's website and it looks like she even has out a new edition of the book.
I would like to reread the book. But, in the meantime, I'd love to hear what works for all of you. Will my children reach a point where they work without whining...if I'm consistent? Am I expecting too much of them? Actually, I'll answer that one for myself. NO. I'm not expecting too much.
Anyway, I'd love your thoughts & insight!
First and foremost I want them to know, love, honor, and serve God.
I also want them to become men of integrity. Men who are kind & considerate. I would like them to be gentlemen.
In addition to all that, it is my desire that they would be hard workers just as the men before them. My father and grandfather, my husband, my father-in-law, my husband's grandfather....all these men who have had a strong work ethic.
I do not want my boys to get sucked into the mentality of a generation that seems to embrace laziness, entitlement, and takes little self-responsibility.
So, when trying to get my boys to do a few simple chores results in whining, moaning, complaining, stalling, arguing, etc. etc., it's annoying & exhausting. And, I envision them as teenagers behaving the same way and that's just downright scary!
I would love for them to do their chores willingly and with enthusiasm.
But, I'm also realistic. I can't say I do my own work around the house with a ton of enthusiasm.
Having them do their chores obediently and without whining (and all the above mentioned theatrics) would be great!
I had this book for awhile and if I remember it had some really great tips. And, it was based on biblical principles. It's called, Do I Have To? What To Do About Children Who Do Too Little Around The House by Patricia Sprinkle.
But, I'm not sure where it is anymore. Did I get rid of it? Why would I have done that?
I did find the author's website and it looks like she even has out a new edition of the book.
I would like to reread the book. But, in the meantime, I'd love to hear what works for all of you. Will my children reach a point where they work without whining...if I'm consistent? Am I expecting too much of them? Actually, I'll answer that one for myself. NO. I'm not expecting too much.
Anyway, I'd love your thoughts & insight!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
One Big Fish
I just have to say that as the only girl in a houseful of guys sometimes I have to see things I'd otherwise rather not see.
Things like this....
That would be an ice chest full of catfish. The big one on top there? Yeah, he was still trying to suck oxygen with his gills. Very disturbing.
But good eating.
My husband cleaned the fish & made one yummy fish fry. He coated the fish filets with seasoned crushed tortilla chips and then fried them. Really delicious. They didn't even taste fishy.
Oh, and I gotta give props to my boy Wyatt who caught the ginormous catfish.
He even pulled it in himself. Way to go son!
You men go ahead and catch it & clean it. But, next time I really don't need to see any part of the process prior to it being on my dinner table. Thanks.
Things like this....
That would be an ice chest full of catfish. The big one on top there? Yeah, he was still trying to suck oxygen with his gills. Very disturbing.
But good eating.
My husband cleaned the fish & made one yummy fish fry. He coated the fish filets with seasoned crushed tortilla chips and then fried them. Really delicious. They didn't even taste fishy.
Oh, and I gotta give props to my boy Wyatt who caught the ginormous catfish.
He even pulled it in himself. Way to go son!
You men go ahead and catch it & clean it. But, next time I really don't need to see any part of the process prior to it being on my dinner table. Thanks.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Peaches....AND Corn!
It's after 11 and I'm ready to zonk out. Today was a very busy but a highly productive day.
I don't have a lot of brain juice left for writing very much. So, I'll do most of my speaking through pictures.
The last couple years we gotten the best peaches ever ! from an orchard just a couple miles down the road from us. I've been meaning to can some each year, but we always ended up eating them. There's nothing quite like a sweet, juicy, fresh peach.
This year I bought 2 baskets. I determined that I absolutely would can them this year.
I do most of my canning & freezing based on what I remember doing with my mom & grandma as I was growing up. But, the Ball Blue Book is an absolutely necessary reference. It will tell you how to can just about anything that you can imagine...and then some.
Here are some peaches waiting to be placed in canning jars after being peeled & pitted. I made the mistake of using my regular mouth jars for the first batch. Wide mouth would have worked much better with the peach halves. I just ended up cutting them in fourths so they'd better fit into the jars.
What do you do with the mushy, bruised, or overripe peaches? I cut them into chunks and set them aside to use for jam.
Chopping up mushy peaches was an easy job for the boys.
The Blue Book calls for a medium to heavy syrup (simply water and a LOT of sugar boiled together). I use a much lighter syrup. For one the peaches are already so sweet, plus I save a little $ by using less sugar.
They are finally ready to take their hot water bath.
In you go guys.
Finished product: 19 quarts of peaches, and about 7 pints of jam. Don't you love how easy it all looks in pictures? Don't be fooled. This little project took me all day. (I should mention that I also had help with the boys today. One of the boy's 2nd cousins, a 14 year old girl who loves being with kids, offered to come and help me out.
And, then, because either I'm a little crazy or I was running on adrenaline after my earlier completed task, I decided to go ahead and do the corn that my father in law offered me from his garden tonight. I knew the rest of my week was pretty busy & wasn't sure when else I could do it. And, I certainly couldn't let it go to waste. So we had a corn party at 9 o'clock. The boys willingly & eagerly helped since it meant staying up past their bedtime!
Sometimes my husband comes up with some strange contraptions. But, this one is awesome!!! This is a propane fueled, outdoor burner. We sat the blanching pot on top of that and the water was boiling in no time. This made the whole process so much quicker.
Bagging the corn after it's been blanched, cooled, drained, and cut off the cob.
Finished Product: 9 quarts of corn
For anyone out there wondering WHY in the world I'd go through so much work for food you can buy in the grocery store, I need to tell you that nothing compares to homegrown (or in the case of the peaches, locally grown) food. We go through corn in the winter like crazy. I use it in my chicken corn soup, for baked corn, chowders, etc. With corn in particular I will not use anything that comes out of a storebought can or freezer bag. I'm just picky that way.
Ok. - It's insanely late now. And, tomorrow's another busy day. So, I am going to bed!
I don't have a lot of brain juice left for writing very much. So, I'll do most of my speaking through pictures.
The last couple years we gotten the best peaches ever ! from an orchard just a couple miles down the road from us. I've been meaning to can some each year, but we always ended up eating them. There's nothing quite like a sweet, juicy, fresh peach.
This year I bought 2 baskets. I determined that I absolutely would can them this year.
I do most of my canning & freezing based on what I remember doing with my mom & grandma as I was growing up. But, the Ball Blue Book is an absolutely necessary reference. It will tell you how to can just about anything that you can imagine...and then some.
Here are some peaches waiting to be placed in canning jars after being peeled & pitted. I made the mistake of using my regular mouth jars for the first batch. Wide mouth would have worked much better with the peach halves. I just ended up cutting them in fourths so they'd better fit into the jars.
What do you do with the mushy, bruised, or overripe peaches? I cut them into chunks and set them aside to use for jam.
Chopping up mushy peaches was an easy job for the boys.
The Blue Book calls for a medium to heavy syrup (simply water and a LOT of sugar boiled together). I use a much lighter syrup. For one the peaches are already so sweet, plus I save a little $ by using less sugar.
They are finally ready to take their hot water bath.
In you go guys.
Finished product: 19 quarts of peaches, and about 7 pints of jam. Don't you love how easy it all looks in pictures? Don't be fooled. This little project took me all day. (I should mention that I also had help with the boys today. One of the boy's 2nd cousins, a 14 year old girl who loves being with kids, offered to come and help me out.
And, then, because either I'm a little crazy or I was running on adrenaline after my earlier completed task, I decided to go ahead and do the corn that my father in law offered me from his garden tonight. I knew the rest of my week was pretty busy & wasn't sure when else I could do it. And, I certainly couldn't let it go to waste. So we had a corn party at 9 o'clock. The boys willingly & eagerly helped since it meant staying up past their bedtime!
Sometimes my husband comes up with some strange contraptions. But, this one is awesome!!! This is a propane fueled, outdoor burner. We sat the blanching pot on top of that and the water was boiling in no time. This made the whole process so much quicker.
Bagging the corn after it's been blanched, cooled, drained, and cut off the cob.
Finished Product: 9 quarts of corn
For anyone out there wondering WHY in the world I'd go through so much work for food you can buy in the grocery store, I need to tell you that nothing compares to homegrown (or in the case of the peaches, locally grown) food. We go through corn in the winter like crazy. I use it in my chicken corn soup, for baked corn, chowders, etc. With corn in particular I will not use anything that comes out of a storebought can or freezer bag. I'm just picky that way.
Ok. - It's insanely late now. And, tomorrow's another busy day. So, I am going to bed!
Friday, July 23, 2010
How Do You Know When Your Family Is Complete?
This is a post I've been thinking about for quite a while. I want to first say that I know that my title question is a question that not everyone gets to answer on their own. I know so many who have struggled with infertilty and miscarriage. And, I want to apologize outright to anyone who has experienced that kind of heartbreak. It's not my intention to be insensitive to you.
My husband and I have been blessed with four wonderful sons. Sometimes when I sit back and look at my family, I am amazed at where God has brought me. I have always wanted children. From the time I can remember, I wanted to be a mommy. It was never a question of IF I'd have children. It was a question of when and how many.
There was a time in my life where I wondered if I'd ever have the opportunity to have children. It broke my heart to imagine my life childless. At some point, I would also like to share my testimony. But for now, I'll just say that I lived the majority of my 20's in rebellion towards God. It wasn't until my late 20's that a godly man (my husband) came into my life and I changed the path of my life.
I was 30 when my husband and I married. Since I was 'older' and unsure of my fertility I wanted to try for a family almost immediately. My husband was also eager for a family so he agreed. Our first son was conceived probably somewhere around our 1st anniversary of marriage and was born when I was 32.
We knew we wanted several children. We weren't sure how many. But again, because I was an 'older' mom, I didn't feel like I had the luxury of large age gaps between our children. Plus, I liked the idea of having siblings close in age so they had each other as they grew up.
Our second son was born 20 months after our first when I was 34. And, our 3rd son was born about 2 1/2 years after that when I was 37 (his birthday is 2 days after my birthday!).
At this point, we had our hands pretty full. I had some pretty bad postpartum depression after our second son was born (there's another topic I could write a whole book on) and even though the postpartum stuff wasn't as bad after Boy #3 it was still there to some extent.
My husband was happy with his 3 sons. My family felt like we were busy enough with 3 little boys and we shouldn't have any more. Some of my friends already thought I was a little wacky to want THREE children.
But, in my heart, I didn't feel like we were done. I felt very strongly like there was another child who belonged in our family. Some people have asked if we kept 'trying for a girl'. And while having a girl certainly would have been lovely, it wasn't our goal in continuing to have children.
My husband was a bit reluctant at first, but he was starting to consider the idea of a fourth child when we discovered we would indeed be having a fourth child. Our fourth son was born almost 7 months ago when I was 39 (I turn 40 later this year).
So, are we done? It's so hard to know. But, I think we are.
1. My husband is done. He says he's ready to have his wife back. He doesn't enjoy the baby/ diaper stage. And, he looks forward to the ages where are boys are more independent and able to boy stuff with their daddy.
2. My body is tired after 7 years of being either pregnant or breastfeeding. It's just plain worn out.
3. I'm getting old. Ok - 40 really isn't old. But, I'm not sure how I feel about having children after I'm 40. I just don't seem to have the same energy, enthusiasm, patience, creativity, etc. I had in my younger years.
4. I really DO have my hands full. I know there are lots of families out there with 6, 7, 8 or more children. Maybe if I had started having children earlier in life I'd be one of them. But, my four boys keep me hoppin'. And, I want to be the best momma I can be to them. I don't want to be a continuously stressed out momma.
I do keep thinking that someday maybe we would court the idea of foster care or adoption. Not now. But, maybe someday. Maybe a little girl? Maybe.
God knows what our family is supposed to look like. I suppose our purpose is to welcome the children he brings to it, however he brings them.
For now, I will enjoy my children and rejoice in how blessed we are.
If you'd like to share, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
My husband and I have been blessed with four wonderful sons. Sometimes when I sit back and look at my family, I am amazed at where God has brought me. I have always wanted children. From the time I can remember, I wanted to be a mommy. It was never a question of IF I'd have children. It was a question of when and how many.
There was a time in my life where I wondered if I'd ever have the opportunity to have children. It broke my heart to imagine my life childless. At some point, I would also like to share my testimony. But for now, I'll just say that I lived the majority of my 20's in rebellion towards God. It wasn't until my late 20's that a godly man (my husband) came into my life and I changed the path of my life.
I was 30 when my husband and I married. Since I was 'older' and unsure of my fertility I wanted to try for a family almost immediately. My husband was also eager for a family so he agreed. Our first son was conceived probably somewhere around our 1st anniversary of marriage and was born when I was 32.
We knew we wanted several children. We weren't sure how many. But again, because I was an 'older' mom, I didn't feel like I had the luxury of large age gaps between our children. Plus, I liked the idea of having siblings close in age so they had each other as they grew up.
Our second son was born 20 months after our first when I was 34. And, our 3rd son was born about 2 1/2 years after that when I was 37 (his birthday is 2 days after my birthday!).
At this point, we had our hands pretty full. I had some pretty bad postpartum depression after our second son was born (there's another topic I could write a whole book on) and even though the postpartum stuff wasn't as bad after Boy #3 it was still there to some extent.
My husband was happy with his 3 sons. My family felt like we were busy enough with 3 little boys and we shouldn't have any more. Some of my friends already thought I was a little wacky to want THREE children.
But, in my heart, I didn't feel like we were done. I felt very strongly like there was another child who belonged in our family. Some people have asked if we kept 'trying for a girl'. And while having a girl certainly would have been lovely, it wasn't our goal in continuing to have children.
My husband was a bit reluctant at first, but he was starting to consider the idea of a fourth child when we discovered we would indeed be having a fourth child. Our fourth son was born almost 7 months ago when I was 39 (I turn 40 later this year).
So, are we done? It's so hard to know. But, I think we are.
1. My husband is done. He says he's ready to have his wife back. He doesn't enjoy the baby/ diaper stage. And, he looks forward to the ages where are boys are more independent and able to boy stuff with their daddy.
2. My body is tired after 7 years of being either pregnant or breastfeeding. It's just plain worn out.
3. I'm getting old. Ok - 40 really isn't old. But, I'm not sure how I feel about having children after I'm 40. I just don't seem to have the same energy, enthusiasm, patience, creativity, etc. I had in my younger years.
4. I really DO have my hands full. I know there are lots of families out there with 6, 7, 8 or more children. Maybe if I had started having children earlier in life I'd be one of them. But, my four boys keep me hoppin'. And, I want to be the best momma I can be to them. I don't want to be a continuously stressed out momma.
I do keep thinking that someday maybe we would court the idea of foster care or adoption. Not now. But, maybe someday. Maybe a little girl? Maybe.
God knows what our family is supposed to look like. I suppose our purpose is to welcome the children he brings to it, however he brings them.
For now, I will enjoy my children and rejoice in how blessed we are.
If you'd like to share, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Keep On Movin'
In my sidebar this week I have a little survey about your exercise habits. I will admit that my answer to my own survey question is that my only form of exercise is running after my children. And, that keeps me pretty busy.
I have been very aware of my need for some genuine exercise. But, for one, I don't particulary care to exercise. And, I haven't been able to figure out a time to fit it in. I'm pretty much with my children 24/7.
So, I think I may have come up with a solution today. I took my boys back to the rail trail near our house (it's about a 7 minute drive). The big boys brought their bikes. And, this time I had a double stroller for my 2 year old & my baby.
We had a great time! The trail is beautiful and shaded. It is straight and level. It's perfect for boys who are still getting the hang of riding their bikes, and one out-of-shape momma.
Once again I forgot my camera. I also forgot to wear good walking shoes. I was so focused on getting 4 boys out the door that I forgot to change out of my flip flops. And, next time I think we would bring water along as well. My boys & I were pretty sweaty & thirsty by the time we finished our walk.
I'm thinking we should try to make this part of our early morning routine. And, on days that we can't go in the morning we could come back in the cool of the evening.
It seems like an easy solution to my exercise problem. And, it's a great activity for the boys too. Hopefully, I can remember the enthusiasm I have right now and follow through.
I have been very aware of my need for some genuine exercise. But, for one, I don't particulary care to exercise. And, I haven't been able to figure out a time to fit it in. I'm pretty much with my children 24/7.
So, I think I may have come up with a solution today. I took my boys back to the rail trail near our house (it's about a 7 minute drive). The big boys brought their bikes. And, this time I had a double stroller for my 2 year old & my baby.
We had a great time! The trail is beautiful and shaded. It is straight and level. It's perfect for boys who are still getting the hang of riding their bikes, and one out-of-shape momma.
Once again I forgot my camera. I also forgot to wear good walking shoes. I was so focused on getting 4 boys out the door that I forgot to change out of my flip flops. And, next time I think we would bring water along as well. My boys & I were pretty sweaty & thirsty by the time we finished our walk.
I'm thinking we should try to make this part of our early morning routine. And, on days that we can't go in the morning we could come back in the cool of the evening.
It seems like an easy solution to my exercise problem. And, it's a great activity for the boys too. Hopefully, I can remember the enthusiasm I have right now and follow through.
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